Traveling the Rock Road

I remember the place like it was yesterday; one large room that had actually been a sunroom when 1^st built.  Now with a drop ceiling, indoor/outdoor carpet, and cheap paneling put up to close it in, it was now our combination kitchen, dining and living room.  A small hallway led to our bath that was only big enough for one person at a time and that barely!  On the other side of the wall from the living quarters was the bedroom, which once had been a garage.  The place came furnished in Early American Garage Sale, the kitchen cabinets were hung by someone snapping a chalk line, nailing up 2x4s and hammering the backs of the cabinets to the wall. I guess the most memorable point was how cold it was in the winter, probably because in several places you could see through the wall to the outside; other than all that it made the perfect young married couple college abode.  More than one time while living there the thought came, ‘What in the world had I gotten us into?’

Living and growing up in our hometown of Fremont, Ohio, my Lady and I had no thoughts or intentions of leaving there and why should we?  Most of our friends and family were there; we had promising jobs and were one of the few newlywed couples to start life with a house instead of an apartment.  There’s also a well respected college and trade school located there which offered training in some great fields of occupation.  And besides that I had recently been approached to be the drummer of the hottest band in Toledo which was kind of a dream come true for this wanna-be rock and roll star!!

So why leave all that behind and start anew in a place where we hardly knew a soul, had to watch every dime we spent and had only each other to rely on?  Well, I felt God had spoken to my heart that this is where he wanted us to be, me studying at a Christian College while Cathy worked full time at a bank to keep the bills paid.  Oh yeah, and no more than 5 years and we were out of here. WRONG!!  Living in that converted screen room and garage that nearly froze us to death that 1^st winter should have been seen as an omen that I had made a big mistake, and the next 3 years didn’t get any better. School was a disaster and money got so tight we found ourselves for a time on food stamps and doing anything we could to survive, including selling my guitars and most of my drumset.  Finally leaving school, I took a job that I completely hated and found myself often wondering how everything got so wrong that I had felt was so right in the beginning.

Did I misunderstand God’s plan?  Were we not supposed to leave our childhood home and come to Indiana?  Well, the easy answer would be yes, it was a boneheaded thing to leave and give up the security we had once known.  But still, there was something in me that said this wasn’t a mistake, this is where God wants us to be.  As time went on I learned that to be true.

You see back home Cathy and I had two opposing forces that worked against any chances of a happy marriage.  The first and strongest was my friends and associations I had in the music world; that influence was a negative on trying to have a good relationship with my Lady.  The more I held on to those relationships the more it worked as a wedge between her and me.  I am totally convinced that had we stayed, our marriage wouldn’t have lasted long, which would have meant losing out on spending my life with the greatest person God could have paired me with, and also never knowing people who have blessed my life the most, my children and grandchildren.  The other force was Cathy’s family.  Now I know that sounds rather harsh like I didn’t like her family, but that not the case; they were wonderful people and I loved them dearly.  But no disrespect intended; there was this pressure for us to live our lives a certain way that was being dictated to us.  I realize they had the best intentions, like all parents, but had Cathy and I not gotten away from everyone and learned to depend, listen and grow together our chances would have been just as detrimental as the control my friends had on me.

It was a slow process for the two of us with many trials and setbacks over those early years, but time and God came to prove to us we were where we should be, doing what our Lord intended for us.  The opportunities for doing many things we never gave thought to have been tremendous in growing together, and in the Lord who had I not listened to His voice years ago we would have never experienced all the blessings that have come our way which out weigh the bad times tremendously.

J.I. Packer in his book Knowing God says this;

“Wait on the Lord” is a constant refrain in the Psalms, and it is a necessary word, for God often keeps us waiting.  He is not in such a hurry as we are, and it is not his way to give more light on the future than we need for action in the present, or to guide us more than one step at a time.  When in doubt, do nothing, but continue to wait on God.  When action is needed, light will come.”

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3: 5,6.

One of my favorite places to be is in my basement studio by myself.  In some ways it reminds me of that little apartment Cathy and I started in when we moved to Indiana.  It’s kind of roughed in here and there, but it has a personality all its own.  It’s a reminder of a time that I felt I had made a mistake in knowing God’s will for my life, when all it was, was just the beginning of Him saying, “Wait on me, I have a better plan than you realize.” I got no complaints!

By the way, I did finally get that degree I came out here for but not at the college I 1^st attended.  Boiler Up!!!

Blessings to you Friends and Family!!!

Some years back I was reading my hometown newspaper on line (one of the things I like about technology) when I came across the obituary of a gal, we’ll call Maggie, I knew back in my school days.  The moment I read her name two things occurred; first, I could see her as if she was in the room with me, and second I got the vision of a boy she wanted to give her affections to that we’ll call, hmm, what will we call him? Okay, I know, let’s just give a nickname; how bout “Jerk?!!”  Might as well call it as it was so you can get a good picture of this guy; but let’s get back to Maggie for now.

I said I could mentally see Maggie the moment my eyes fell on her name.  It wasn’t because of any striking beauty; to the contrary, truth was she wasn’t much of a looker. Tall, super skinny, knobby kneed, face full of zits and two of the biggest buckteeth you’d ever seen. Besides these physical traits old Mag had a habit of wearing makeup way to heavy giving her a slight clown-like appearance.  But hey, you overlook all that and you had yourself a really sweet girl there, intelligent, great personality, caring, compassionate to others with an easy smile bucktooth and all.  Only problem was, as all too often, people, boys in particular, didn’t get past the physical form to discover the positive traits. She could be the brunt of many jokes both behind her back and even to her face by a few of the ignorant types.

Getting back to my man “Jerk,” well he was okay to a certain level.  His looks were nothing that would get him a starring role in a Hollywood movie, kinda of average but most would say he was a pretty nice guy to get along with.  (I know that doesn’t seem the type of person that should be named Jerk, but stay with me.)  As a matter of fact he and Maggie shared a little of the same fate in his grade school days with kids at times making fun of him also, so you would think he could sympathize with her, but alas, it was not to be.  He did at times speak to Maggie when she spoke to him, but only if no one else was around.  Had he been caught spending any time associating with her, he knew the ribbing would be merciless.  Actually Jerk admitted years latter that he kind of liked her; something about her was special, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her that or explore those  feelings more closely.  What made it harder is he knew she had a crush on him and would occasionally send him notes.  He’d always read them, but never respond and went to great lengths to avoid her.  The low point came when Jerk was at a teen function where Maggie was.  She came up to say hello to him just when one of his buddies made a rude remark to Mag causing everyone to laugh at her, including good old Jerk.  He remembered seeing the combination of hurt and anger as her eyes began to fill with tears, and she turned to walk away.  Now our man Jerk did have a heart, he knew it was wrong to treat her or anyone like that.  But he just couldn’t risk sending the wrong message; after all, she just wasn’t his type.  He wouldn’t have to worry a whole lot about it; Maggie didn’t speak to him again the rest of their school days. Even when he spoke first she would just keep her head down and walk away.  “Oh well, it’s for the best,” he thought.  Still, he’d get these feelings that there was something more to Maggie that was special; too bad she didn’t have the looks to go with it, right?

It was somewhere during Jerk’s senior year that he visited a daycare center with his girlfriend who applying for a job there.  Who should be already working there?  Dear sweet Maggie.  She didn’t see him as he stayed at a distance, but he watched her carefully playing with the little tykes.  She’d have three or four crawling all over her as she tickled them and they cried out in delightful laughter.  One fell and began to cry and Maggie was right there, holding, speaking softly and wearing a radiant smile until the hurt had passed. As he Jerk stood there the thought came to him, “Maggie’s gotten prettier, but she still looks the same–weird!”  Ten years latter their paths would cross again and it was apparent Maggie had forgiven Jerk by the way she now talked to him friendly, as he did her.  She was married with two kids and couldn’t be happier; even though her husband had contracted a debilitating disease where he could no longer work.  She supported them all with her job and a sideline of cleaning houses on the weekend.  I learned also she was a volunteer one day a week helping people with disabilities while at the same time working on a degree from the local college and making time for her children.  “Maggie, you’re just as awesome and beautiful as you were in school,” Jerk blurted out.  She didn’t answer, just said it was nice to see him and walked on.  “Why didn’t I see that before,” he thought after she left.  Then it was, “Oh yeah, you know why you arrogant idiot!”

I believe all of us at some time have been a Maggie the hidden beauty, or Jerk the ugly blind man.  I say hidden beauty because due to the exterior, the world does not exalt the glowing attractiveness that comes from the inside and it is quite often over looked.  I say ugly blind man because there are ones who don’t look far enough to see just how beautiful someone really is, how God has placed a heart of gold in an individual that makes them stunning beyond compare.  I know this individual all too well, who looked foremost on the outer beauty, not giving thought or credit that there was more to someone than looks; for you see, my friend Jerk, is yours truly.

As the scripture says in 1 Samuel 16:7, “People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  God knows who we are and what makes us beautiful, what makes us special, each and everyone of us.  And as my dear old mama uses to say “God don’t make junk!”  There many Maggies out there, more beautiful inside who are just as attractive as any model that struts her outer beauty on the runway.  Never be ashamed of who you are, for you are special, made special as God says you are.  Psalm 139:14 reads “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”  Never Never Never let anyone convince you different!

As for you Jerks (Okay, Johns), the same goes for you as it does Maggie.  Knowing that, shouldn’t that be all the reason you need to look closely at the way others are made also, and quite possibly discover a beauty others might miss; just sayin!!

When I read the obit for Maggie, which was rather long, I read testimonies of how she touched and blessed many, many people with her life of beauty and love.  Awesome!

Makes it nicer to be a Traveler of the Rock Road when you can do it with beautiful people, don’t you think?  I thought so!!

Back in 1970 a motion picture came out based on the true story of a young couple’s life, love and tragic ending.  The movie was Love Story and it took the country by storm, in every theater where it was playing you would have been hard pressed to find a dry eye in the house at the conclusion of the film.  I confess I would have to be counted as one of the weepy eyes who got caught up in the drama and sadness of the story.  To go a step further, my then girlfriend ended up seeing it 3 times.  (We worked at a drive-in so it made it easy to see it several times.)  We became so absorbed in the tale, I think we could have quoted almost every line, especially the most famous 8 word passage in the whole show; “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”  Beautiful sentiment, huh? DON’T,   YOU,  BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!  In our youthful innocence, we took those words to be prophetic as if sent by God himself; in truth they were more like a visit from the angel of death every time either of us uttered them.  But we began a “futile” attempt to live out our relationship in a way that that neither of us would ever have regrets for our words or actions to the other.  I use the “futile” because trying to be successful at such an endeavor would be like trying to fix the leak in the Titanic with silly putty!!!  Back in the day I was somewhat of a typical teenage boy, a whole lot of attitude and little tact on the words that came out of my mouth.  (Hmm, that sounds a little like me at times today.  Never mind, let’s not go there!)

But because of that immature attitude accompanied by an acidic tongue, attempts to live that perfect couple’s relationship would crash into the wall.  At moments like that tears would flow from my girlfriend’s eyes and the reality of my arrogance and ignorance would hit me in the face like a bucket of ice water.  Not wanting to see this, I would say “I’m sorry.”  Moist eyes and quivering lip would respond, “But love means never having to say you’re sorry.”  ARGHHH!!!!!  Talk about a Catch 22 situation–I do something wrong to a person I care for and then have no way of making it right!  The roles Ryan O’Neal and Ali MacGraw portrayed on the big screen made me fall in love with them, but the anguish I suffered every time I spoke the “S” word made me want to take their heads and knock them together saying, “What the heck were you guys thinking making such a stupid movie anyway!”

I’m going to get to my main point early today because it’s a very important topic (plus I need all the practice I can get writing shorter.)

This really was a good movie for the times and had many good points relating to love between a couple, except in this man’s opinion it missed the mark on the main issue; love “DOES” mean saying you’re sorry!  I have met people in my life that adhere to the philosophy of not saying sorry for a number of different reasons: “People should understand that’s just the way I am.”  “People who have hurt me never said they’re sorry so why should I?”  Here’s one that’s been made popular from a TV show: “Saying you’re sorry is a sign a weakness.”  I’ll never be accused of being the sharpest knife in the drawer, but one thing I have learned is forgiveness, be it asking for or accepting is one of the strongest and meaningful things a person will ever do.  You see ‘sorry’ should not be looked at as just a word to get past rough road with someone; it should be seen and treated as an action that says I was wrong and I need to make it right.

In our early days together, Cathy and I had some real humdinger fights.  We were both stubborn, neither willing to give in and that in itself became the catalyst of what could have become another failed marriage for the times; but we both knew we had something special that was bigger than our separate egos, something worth treasuring and protecting.  We both had to learn (and I confess, mostly me) that when a wrong is committed, healing does not fully occur without forgiveness, either asked for, given or both.  19^th Century George Macdonald said it this way, “Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life.”  Over the years of my life, I have found myself sitting between two people who started out madly in love with each other, only to end up facing the destruction of their relationship because the words “I’m sorry” were more than one or the other could say.  It saddens me to say that a few of the hardest ones to get through to on the importance of asking for forgiveness have been Christian couples.  One “interesting” individual wanted to argue that it didn’t matter if ever told his wife he’s sorry so long as she does what the Bible says and submit to him.  (Those are the ones that send me to the nearest wall to beat my head against it!)  Knowing where he got that, I asked, “Well how well do you submit to her?”  “What?  I’m not supposed to submit to her!”  Taking him farther down to the book and chapter where he developed his one-sided attitude we read the words, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” Ephesians 5:21.  It’s all part of those words “Two becoming One,” Friends and Family; if you have taken those words as truth in your marriage then whenever you hurt your loved one, you are inflicting the same injury on yourself.  Literally scores of couples I have heard say felt a huge weight was lifted from both of them when repentance and forgiveness have occurred. Often when my Lady and I have had a falling out, my work day stays in ruin until I pick up the phone, call her to say those words that mean Love, “I’m sorry.”  Then to know restoration has occurred with her response, “I forgive you.”  Here’s a good practice to get into with your husband or wife, pray together.  One statistic I’ve quoted before is that 50% of all marriages end in divorce.  But with couple committed to praying together on a regular basis (and that includes praying out loud for each other), that stat drops to below 1%.  Hey, isn’t I worth a shot; just sayin.

My former girlfriend and I made a lot of mistakes and ended up going separate ways way back when, but I think it’s safe to say we learned love means a whole lot more than what we realized.  We must have learned something; we’ve both been married to our chosen life mates for 40 years now, pretty awesome huh?!!

Okay, failed again to write a short story, actually I have a whole lot more to say on this subject but I’ll save that for another time.  

One final thought, since becoming Christian I’ve learned that repentance and forgiveness is not only healing, it’s a giver of life;

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and “will forgive” us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9  In other words Life everlasting.

We as Travelers of the Rock Road must give consideration to the question how will we journey this life trail, alone with a heavy load never to set down because of the problems we discussed today, or with others willing to bare the load with you knowing the true two-part meaning of love.

“Love means saying I’m sorry, and Love means I forgive you.”

Nuff said, thanks for reading!!

I remember a few years back there was a young woman that the press heralded as a hero for this incredible feat that she was credited for performing.  Her story and picture was splashed all over the media in the days that followed which was wonderful,  I think it’s great when we have someone to admire for what they did or what they stood for in the face of adversity.  There was only one problem; the story was complete fabrication, not by this gal, but by some PR people who thought the country, at that time, needed a story of heroism whether it was embellished or not.  As a matter of fact, it was the young lady who stepped forward to say it wasn’t true, which personally made her a bigger hero to me than what the overzealous press releases did.

Now I tell this not to stir up debate on how much we should trust what we read in the news (of course it never hurts to check certain things out more once in a while), but more to explore a subject that’s been on my mind recently and that is just what makes someone a hero?  I’ve looked at the usual definitions and descriptions which I have no problems with (for the most part) and found that I just wasn’t in total agreement with what I read. The usual meaning given reads something like this, “A person who is greatly admired for great or brave acts and fine qualities.”  I suppose that’s a fair assessment, but in my rather off the wall thought process I just don’t feel those mentioned qualities go far enough to define the term “hero.”  So often when we think of a hero we come up with names of well known individuals who performed great achievements that the world gets opportunity to learn about.  Again, I can agree with these folks being labeled as heroes (for the most part), but I still believe there are many, many more the world will never hear of whose achievements are every bit as important and in some ways even more than the ones we come to know.   For the rest of this story I want to introduce several folks, along with their accomplishments and why I see them as heroes.

There was this woman I knew who had a number of things going against her in life.  She suffered from physical, emotional and mental shortcomings.  She once met a man who she thought was going to be her knight in shining armor.  Unfortunately that wasn’t the case and he left after only a few weeks, but not before leaving her pregnant.  She was urged by many to give up the baby saying it would be the best thing to do.  But she was determined that child, her child would be raised by her to the best she could.  She spent a major part of her life pouring everything she could into that youngster, working long toiling hours at a job that wore her body down as well as sacrificing much to see that this gift of God (as she saw him) would have a better start to life than she did.  When she was called home to Heaven, she left a son who never forgot all she did and all she was to him, the greatest mom any boy could ever have.  Three generations of her descendants all feel the same way.  (I’m sure you’ve figured it out that this woman, this hero was my very own mother.)

I once had a Sunday school teacher by the name of Billie.  She had a thick southern accent which made me like her immediately seeing how my own roots run through West   Virginia, but that wasn’t the main reason I liked this southern gal.  Billie had an almost magical way about her; you just couldn’t feel anything but happiness when you were around her.  A person having the worst day of their life would come away with spirits raised by the way this dear saint showed concern for them, and almost always with a smile on the face and laughter that was healing to the soul.  Billie lived a full life, but to all whose lives she touched it was way too soon.  This hero gave to many what I describe as her 3 H’s: “Hope, Happiness, Herself.”

The soldier you see receiving the big hug is a gentleman named Tom, and the girl is his daughter, Carmen.  As you probably perceived, Tom had just returned home from active duty (Operation Desert Storm, I believe) and his precious angel could not, (nor would have wanted to), harness the emotions of seeing her dad return home from war, not to downplay the happy reunion after deployment, but something just tells me Tom would have had a greeting similar no matter what he was returning from.  You see Tom’s and my paths have only crossed a few times in our lives, but everything I know of him places him high on my list of ones I call Men of Honor.  From the time I met this soft spoken man, I had a hunch there was something special about him.  That’s been proven to me by the dedication, love and example to his wonderful family.  Some men feel this sense to have what I call a “macho persona.”  But take a person like Tom, well he doesn’t need that. He, I believe, has shown true manhood with gentleness, kindness and complete love and devotion to the most important people in his life–his Lady, his son, his daughter, and three of the cutest granddaughters you’ll ever see!  I’m convinced the hug and tears you see flowing from Tom’s beloved Carmen are a representation of how his whole family felt that day he returned from deployment; the greatest hero and the strongest man that God could have placed in their lives was now back with them.  Awesome!!!

My last example is a kid I knew from high-school days.  I liked him, but he had one bad habit, he was always talking religion to me.  And no matter how many times I told him to stop, or how aggravated I got with him he just wouldn’t give it a rest!  Through a series of events too long to go into I came to realize he wasn’t pushing a religion at all, he was offering me something more, a Savior, Christ Jesus my Lord.  This wasn’t someone who was fanatical about his beliefs; this was a Brother who was so concerned about me to the point that he was not going to give up telling about two things I needed, the love of a Father, and eternal life through a Redeemer!  Where ever you are today Bric, know that you are still my Brother, and my Hero!

To wrap this up, I’ll make my final point; any and all have abilities and opportunities to be heroes.  Maybe not on a world stage for all to see, maybe not so great that it brings you accolades from millions everywhere; but you have what it takes to touch someone’s life in a positive manner, in a way that makes them see you like nobody else will; that makes you their forever hero.  As I say often, never forget how special you are to God and to others when you give of yourself.

Of course I must confess that I do have one HERO that many have heard of and know personally.  If you would like to know my Hero personally there’s a book that’s been around for a long time that tells all about Him.  A good place to start knowing Him, and his love comes for John 3:16.  Nuff said!

Thanks for reading and Blessings to you and your loved ones!!!

When Cathy and I married 40 years ago, she knew right from the start she wanted some day to have children.  Myself, I wasn’t as sure as her, but we both figured I’d come around.  (I’m certainly glad I did!)  Of course, we wanted some time first just for her and me to draw closer before having kids, we just didn’t expect it to be as long as it was; six years.  Around our 3^rd year together we started trying for children but to no avail.  Then began visits to doctors for both of us to see if there was a problem, but never got really a conclusion to what might be the problem.  We began to think that maybe we weren’t meant to have children, at least not natural, so the discussion turned to adoption.  After all, Cathy was adopted and had a great relationship with her parents so we figured that’s the direction the Lord wanted us to go.  That decision nearly shattered all our dreams and desires to have children, not to mention our spiritual lives.

There were many places to choose from that adopted out homeless children which included both state to private organizations. We opted for one that came recommended to us; a “Christian” children’s home over in the next state.  We were excited to work with an outfit like this and couldn’t wait to get started.  I sensed a little bit of a problem the moment we stepped in by the way people were looking at me.  I had my typical dress garb on, for me at least; boots, jeans, black shirt under a dress jacket, and perhaps my hair was a little on the long side. (Strike one!)  Entering a large office with a rather conservative looking gentleman sitting behind a desk, we began a rather cold interview where we were asked many pointed questions about our lives, all to which we answered truthfully.  After the initial interview (which felt more like an interrogation), we were assigned a case worker who would come to our home and do more investigating over the course of several months.  Our home was a modest trailer at that time, but it was clean and more than room for a family of three, besides, it wasn’t going to be our permanent residence.  The home studies and interviews went on with our case worker making several visits and always with a slight coldness the same way we felt when we first went to their office.  There were many questions about our past, present, family, parents, relationship to each other, and of course our relationship to the Lord.  One question that came often was our financial situation which only made sense to me thinking they wanted to be sure we could afford to have a child.  There was always that hidden fear that we would be rejected but they told us from the start, “If we choose not to place a child with you know well in advance of the last home study.”  Every time we would get notification in the mail of when the next visit would be our hearts jumped with excitement believing we would soon be adding to our family.  Also during this time we started getting a lot of mailers from the children’s home and the church they were affiliated with seeking donations for this program and the work they were involved with.  Since we supported our own church and money was tight, we chose not to contribute thinking if the subject ever came up we could give them our reasons and they would understand. (Strike Two!)

The day finally came; we were notified that our case worker would be coming for the “last” home visit!  We made it!  Excitement filled our lives and we even told a few people that we would probably have our baby soon.  Our frequent visitor showed on the appointed day to be greeted by a very happy young couple, at least for the moment. Another hour of questions filled the room, and then a long pause of silence, before he uttered the words, “Well, I suppose you’re waiting for an answer from me, right?”  Our faces went somber and I could hear the words be shouted; (Strike Three, you’re out of here!)  “We have decided after long consideration and prayer that you are not the type of couple we feel we can place a child with.”  “Why not,” was my question.  “We have ascertained that your spiritual life is not what we feel it should be.”  Well, howdy!  What do you say after a comment like that?  I know what I wanted to say, but all that came out was, “What about the promise that if we didn’t make it we’d be told well in advance of this last meeting?”  A moment of silence and then, “I’m sorry, goodbye,” and he was out of the chair and headed out to his car.  There was a long time that neither Cathy or I spoke, just a lot of hugging and tears.  Hurt, sad, confused and yes, angry, we had all that. We didn’t even know what we were supposed to do next.  The man said our spiritual lives were not what they should be.  What the heck does that mean?!!  If they thought my spiritual life was lacking now they should have seen me years back!  But for that matter I think I did everything possible to live up to their assessment for the next 6 months.  I quit going to church, and when I did Cathy did.  I also didn’t want anything to do with folks that called themselves Christians, I was mad at them as well as the people from the children’s home, and I was really mad at God!!  “God, how could you let this happen?!!! We trusted you and believed we were doing what you wanted us to do, and you let us down!!!

Okay, I’m going to shift gears on you, and if you find anything to take from this story make it these next few sentences.

It would be very easy to live with animosity for the way we were treated, whether the assessment was true or other wise.  But if I held to that anger, then I would be putting a stamp of approval on what they said.  If I am to call myself a Believer, then I need to show that I am in my actions over my words.  The Bible is clear on how important it is to rid yourself of malice toward anyone. (Ephesians 4:31,32 and Matthew 6:14,15.)  It’s also not healthy; holding on to rage in one’s life has the same effect as a person who’s just been told he has a spot of cancer on a lung, and he instantly goes out and starts smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day. Healing cannot take place if you feed the disease!

Do I feel we were wronged?  Quite frankly, yes; but what is to be gained by allowing that to permeate my life?  Nothing!  I’ve seen too often people who have been handicapped in life because of some wrong done them, and they just can’t shake it, or forgive. Trust me dear ones, holding on to wrongs is like venom in your system that slowly robs life from you.  That is not what we are put here for, especially the ones of us who call ourselves Christians.  “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9).

I know, I know, I’ve said a lot (again!) to get to my main point which is do not let anything rob you of the joy God wants for you in Christ Jesus.  Things will always happen to all of us and some can be earth shattering for a time.  But that doesn’t mean God has abandoned you, He’s still there and His love is just as strong (Romans 8:38,39).

Going back to our friends at the children’s home and the remark of something lacking in our spiritual lives; well there probably was seeing how young we were at the time.  It would have been nice to know what they were talking about though, then maybe we could have corrected it and held that baby in our arms that we so desperately wanted.  But then again, maybe God had better ideas, like what I touched today, forgiving and not letting bitterness rule your life.  Trust me, it’s made all the difference in the world for this man who now prays for a certain organization the God might bless them.

One last thought is the one that says sometimes God has a better idea in store, so let this sadness pass, for there’s something better in store.  We couldn’t see it then, but three kids, two daughters-in-law, a son-in-law, five grandchildren later, plus a slew of others that call my Lady and I Grandma and Grandpa; well I think we can see His plan pretty clearly now.  Maybe there was something lacking in us “spiritually,” but I believe God saw something more than in us than anyone else could, I’m glad for that because at one time I didn’t see anything worth going on for; and now all we see are blessings from the One who knows our hearts best!  Nuff said, thanks for reading!!

Years back, before we built our present home, we shared a house with a delightful couple with two young children; we occupied the bottom floor and they the top.  These two were enjoyable to be around because of their love for people and for their Lord.  Instead of saying a prayer at mealtime they would sing a short song unto the Lord, I could set my watch by when I heard their melodic praise come through the floor.  Nearby lived an elderly man who was alone in the world that these kids befriended and made part of their family.  He was too feeble to climb the steps to their home so they would visit everyday and even taught the children to call him grandpa.  The time came when the couple made the decision to move back to Ohio, their home state.  When they broke the news to the old man, he began to cry thinking the closest thing to a family was now leaving him. Seeing his tears the wife spoke up quickly, “Oh you don’t understand, when we said we’re moving to Ohio we meant all of us, you too.  We couldn’t leave you behind; you’re part of our family.” And family they stayed until the gent passed away 6 months later, happier than he had ever been in his life.

While Cathy and I were on our 40^th anniversary trip recently we met a couple that were quite a bit older than us, but had only been married 15 years.  Both had lost their first mates earlier in life and found themselves alone in the world.  Talking to them I got the impression neither was looking for someone else, but they both realized they were hurting.  She and her first husband had played music together in church for years, her the piano and he played guitar.  She deeply missed the great times they had ministering to others in their own special way and felt great sadness when considering that she would never be able to do such a calling again; until a chance encounter.  She met a man who had lost his wife to cancer and even though he wasn’t looking for another relationship he did miss long walks, traveling and just talking to the love of his life, and deep inside it was tearing him up.  He was in need of someone else to fill the void, just as our lady yearned for something that was missing in her life.  They met, they married and have been happy together all these years.  Oh, did I mention he was a guitar player and the two spent much time in song for others to enjoy; awesome!

I once met a woman working in a convenience store who had quite a load on her plate. The store was her 2^nd job, the 1^st being a house cleaner to several homes.  As I got to know her I learned her husband had been hurt on his job causing permanent damage that hindered him from ever working again.  He drew disability, but between that and her two jobs it just wasn’t enough to cover all the bills for her and her family.  On this one occasion she confided that they were three months behind on the house payment and expected foreclosure anytime.  She told me in a voice that was weary and without words conveyed the message, “I’ve done all I can, there’s nothing more to give. I thought about her situation for a week and decided to offer to pay at least one month on the house payment as a hope for a little breathing room.  “Thanks, but I don’t have a house payment anymore, it’s all paid off!” she delightedly told me at our next meeting wearing something I had not seen on her often, a great big smile.  Seems one day she got a phone call from the bank asking her to come in.  She figured it was the start to the final straw of losing her home.  Instead she was taken into an office were she was informed that an individual who wished to stay anonymous had came by the bank the day earlier and paid off her house.  I don’t think she ever found out who it was, but later I did.  He was an unsuspecting individual who stopped by the store sometimes and learned of her and her family’s fate.  He didn’t want anyone to know it was him and frankly few would have ventured a guess that this man had that kind of money, but he did.  He wasn’t looking for anything in return for his generosity; he just saw a need he could fulfill.

I read a quote recently that went like this; “Somebody needs what you have to give.  It may not be your money; it may be your time.  It may be your listening ear.  It may be your arms to encourage.  It may be your smile to uplift.  Who knows?  Maybe just like that little baby, putting your arm around somebody and letting him or her know that you care can help begin to heal that person’s heart.  Maybe you can give a rescuing hug.”

Each of these stories tells of someone in need, and someone who came forth to fill that need.  These types of stories go on more than we’ll ever know because generally speaking they’re not the type of thing that grabs headlines, only the people involved know, and there’s not a thing wrong with that!

As a Christian, I’ve learned one of the best ways I can be a help to many is to be on my knees.  I hear of situations all the time where I yearn to help but am not able, except in prayer and that’s not a bad place to go when you can’t do anything else.  In other words, I can see a need at times and be a help physically, and other times spiritually; I may not be able to fix the problem, but I know where to go and “Who” to go to that can.

One of my favorite Bible passages is Philippians 4:6, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” 

I’ve often wondered what life would be like around us if everyone who saw a need, saw that “They” were needed, would answer the call; and if every person who called themselves a Child of the King would commit time to prayer for others.  Personally, because of my beliefs I get excited just at the thought!  I hope you’ll give consideration to what I have said today.  Remember, no matter what your circumstance, you’re always in a position to be that strength, that kindness, that need, that prayer for someone else. Matter of fact I’m going to give you that chance right now.

This is Julie standing with my Lady, Cathy.  We met on a path in the SmokyMountains for a brief moment, but in that moment we learned a lot about this precious gal.  She saw Cathy’s fancy walking stick, a gift given to her for being a cancer survivor.  We told a park ranger we met on the trail about the meaning of the stick.  Later he passed Julie who he told her about the lady with the stick.  When she saw us coming she knew Cathy already and had a connection, for you see Julie is battling cancer for the 3^rd time. Strangers from different parts of the country passing on a mountain trail, could have very easily just walked on with a greeting and smile, but God had other plans.  He sees a need, and sees someone who can fill that need by placing maybe the only person that day who could empathize with what Julie is going through, and offer words of encouragement, a embracing hug that says I care, and a prayer right there on the trail before we went our separate ways, and a promise to continue to pray.

So here’s my challenge, you can’t say you don’t her, I just introduced you to Julie.  You can’t say you’re not aware of her problem; I just brought it to the forefront, with her permission.  And if you call yourself a Christian, you sure can’t say there’s nothing I can do.  Of the course there is; pray, Pray, PRAY!  Here is a need; I believe there’s someone who can fill it.  Please put Julie on your prayer list not only for her fight with cancer but for several other trials going on in her life at this time.  Anyone who would like to send Julie a message, write it here and we’ll see she gets it.

There’s always going to be people with needs looking for hope somewhere.  The question doesn’t come down to what can you do; but rather what “Will” you do.  Maybe it’s a lot; wonderful.  Maybe it’s only something small; great. But maybe it’s only a willingness to pray diligently; AWESOME!

Never forget, you are special and you are needed by someone.

Thanks for reading!!!

Yesterday on the Blue Ridge Parkway we met this young couple, Addison and Jahnavi. They had left Vermont earlier with their bicycles loaded to the hilt plus one of those pull behind child carriers for their dog “Zoso.”  A wonderfully pleasant couple who we found some similar ground with, biking of course; but both were musicians and were heading to Austin in hopes of finding work in the music industry there.  Being young and adventurous, they weren’t interested in a long mundane drive to their new home; they wanted a chance to see America, to meet new people, and to build memories.  At the point our paths crossed they still had two months to reach their destination, but were still upbeat about finishing the task they set ahead of them.

These two modern-day pioneers touched my heart in the time we spent together, two young people who have a dream and chose to pursue to it no matter how tough the road ahead was; Awesome!

As a Christian they certainly challenged my heart, how often have I given up or not tried at all because I saw the task too hard to accomplish.

James, the half brother of Jesus said it like this, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

This day I’m inspired by my Lord and two young “Travelers of the Rock Road,” to be excited about what lies ahead, not knowing exactly all I’ll encounter on the path I choose, but sure that the end result is well worth the challenge to get there.

Addison and Jahnavi probably didn’t know they were used by my Lord to motivate the Gray One; the important thing is I did. After we gave them bracelets that said “Blessed,” they allowed us to pray for them and we departed.

I don’t know if our paths will ever cross again but, I thank God that they did.  And I would like to do a shout out to the good people of Austin, Texas; if you see a young couple riding bikes loaded like Conestoga Wagons, pulling a child carrier with a pooch named Zoso in it, give them a hand getting settled in your community.  When it comes to young folks with perseverance and motivation; your gain is Vermont’s loss!

Hello all, Cathy and I are heading out the door for our 40^th anniversary trip which we’re taking to our favorite place, the mountains.  It’s always great for us to get off to ourselves and enjoy the beauty of God’s creation.  But also, we use this time an opportunity to draw closer to our Lord and Savior.  Two of the best ways to accomplish this is 1^st spending time in God’s Word, and 2^nd is time spent in prayer, be it praise or petition.  Many of you know (or possibly don’t maybe) that you are a regular part of these prayers; from folks that we’ve known since our youngest childhood days to people that perhaps we’ve only come in contact with a few times.  If you’d like us to pray for something for you or someone you know, please contact us and we will consider it an honor to go before the Lord on your behalf.  Send us a message here and we’ll read it, but won’t publish who you are or what your request is.  The same thing for Facebook, send us a private message and we will keep you and your request totally private.

Some may ask why we do this.  Well, it is definitely not to impress anyone or give the impression that we’re “holier than thou” people.  We’re the same anyone, no better than anyone.  But we hold firmly to the belief that when we call ourselves Christians we’re not saying so much who we are, but what we do in the Lord.  His word is quite clear on this subject; Pray for Each Other!!

Ephesians 6:18 – Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication.  To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,

1 Timothy 2:1 – First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people,

Philippians 4:6 – Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 – Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

We praise our Lord for the 40 years He has given us together, believing that without Him in our lives this milestone would have never been reached.  We thank God for each of you that He has placed in our lives.

This week’s entry to “Traveling the Rock Road” will be different, instead of figurative stories, we will be bringing real pictures and short stories of being on the Rock Road.  I hope you will join us by reading about our journey of literally seeing and experiencing the Lord’s awesome creation.

As always, Blessings to you and your Loved Ones!

Ben and I sat for a long time in the restaurant, making small talk, drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes one after another. Over the course of time I had been called away from home to talk, and often mostly listen, to someone going through a rough time.  I am neither a trained nor licensed counselor, but somehow I’ve found myself in settings like the one I was in now with Ben, called because someone needed to talk to somebody, anybody, and like I said I was, and still am a good listener.  I hardly knew Ben, but his wife had been several years behind me in school and we shared a friendship.  It was her that called asking if I would meet with her husband because he had become distraught and she didn’t know who else to contact.  I agreed and we met in Fort Wayne, IN since they had left our hometown also and this was now a good halfway point.

When we had spent almost an hour together, Ben finally blurted out what was causing him so much grief.  “Jenny wants us to start a family, but I don’t think I can do it.”  Smiling I said, “Ben, I think that’s the way most of guys are, the gals seem to always be more ready for that step than we are; have you told her you think you need more time?” Ben looking sternly at me now retorted, “That’s not what I mean. I’m not ready now, and I won’t be ready later; I can’t be a father I don’t have the ability to do it.”  If he didn’t have my full attention earlier, he did now.  “I don’t know you that well, but you seem like a great guy; why would you think that of yourself.  Only staring for a moment, Ben finally said, “We need to get out of here,” and he tossed a few dollars on the table to cover our coffee and headed for the door with me in hot pursuit.  When we were finally outside he lit another cigarette and didn’t say anything for a long time again, and I waited patiently.  Finally the words came forth that told the story of what haunted him so badly. “I can’t be a father because I don’t how to be one, I never had a father.”  I now knew where he was going before he uttered that terrible word that at least on one occasion I heard describe me,  “John, I’m a Bas###d!  For ones not familiar with the word I’ve disguised the dictionary definition is 1. A child born out of wedlock.  2. Something that is of irregular, inferior, or dubious origin.  (How’d you like have that descriptive hung on ya?)  Then he said, “I’m sorry, this was a mistake, I should have never come here.”  “Why is that Ben?”  Tossing his cigarette to the ground he snapped back, “Because unless you’ve been there you can’t possibly know what I’m going through.”  

Good Night, the way you arrange things Lord!  This old boy didn’t have a clue who he was talking to and getting ready to kick to the curb.  Mentally, for just a short moment I had left him.  The year was approximately 1985, but I had been swished back to 1970 where I was sitting at the kitchen table with one of my greatest heroes, Great-Aunt Pearl. The year prior I had learned the truth about my own conception, that the last name I carried belonged to a man that might have done his part to bring life to me, but never claimed me as his, never once filled the title or role of dad.  Mom who suffered from anxiety attacks never would talk to me about him especially after I learned the truth about the old buggerhead!  So I had to rely on Pearl to fill in the gaps of what I didn’t know.  On this certain evening we were together, she was relating to me the time mom and her first boyfriend came to her (Mom’s mother died when she was young and Pearl raised and cared for her after), the two young lovers were in their teens at that time and wanted permission to marry.  “What did you tell them?” I asked. “I said absolutely not, they were too young to be talking such foolishness.”  I asked, “What ever happened to the guy?”  “Oh, he finished school and married some years later, now he’s a successful farmer with a great big place with quite a few farmhands.”  My mind then went to all the years my mom struggled in relationships, all the hours she put in at her job to support us, and all that Pearl experienced also for having to live with her.  I just had to ask, “If you had to do it all over again, would you have let them marry?”  She didn’t even hesitate, “No.” “Pearl, how can you say that?” I questioned.  “As tough as mom and you have had it, wouldn’t it have been best for everyone?  Again, “No” she answered.  “But why?” I asked almost pleading for some type of understanding.  Again, with no indecision in her soft voice, and smiling at me she said, “Because had I allowed that, we wouldn’t have you, and you are the most important person God put in your mother’s life, and in mine.”

“Long before you were conceived by your parents, you were conceived in the mind of God.  It is not fate, nor chance, nor luck, nor coincidence that you are breathing at this very moment.  You are alive because God wanted to create you!  The Bible says, The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me” (Psalm 138:8a NIV).  Rick Warren

It took a while to sink into this hard head of mine, but I came to realize that I was not an accident; I was not inferior to anyone because of my birth, and it didn’t matter anymore that I was robbed of the love of a father; I discovered I was immensely loved, by my Heavenly Father.  Awesome!  To take it a step further, I came to realize I was a pretty groovy guy! (You like that old 60s hippie word?!!)  Again, not because I say so, but because my “Father” says so.

Psalm 139:14-16 – “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.  My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”

Returning to the present, Ben and I spent the next hour talking about all things I’ve mentioned here, and doing my best to convince him that, yes, he would make mistakes; all us earthly papas do to one degree or another.  But that didn’t mean he couldn’t be a great dad to his future kids.  “Ben, it’s my belief that in some ways we’re more prepared for children than ones who had two parents, we know the importance of being there for them with unconditional love, just like our big “Papa!”  It was one of those times the words the Lord gave me seemed to sink in because the man who was now departing me had a much different, more positive attitude about himself than when we first began that day.

Just before he got in his car to drive off he yelled out, “Hey Miller, got one last question for you.”  “Shoot!”  “If you were to meet your old man now, what would you say to him?” My biological father died several years before Ben and me getting together, but had the occasion reared up while “Traveling the Rock Road,” I had it memorized what I’d say, “Hey Howie!  Whether or not you ever realized it, you were part of God’s plan; ya did good!

I met Tinker back in ‘75 when I worked in some of the area high-schools as a volunteer with troubled teens.  He was a short, kind of round boy with wavy hair, freckles and an ever present grin.  Our paths crossed the first time I entered his school and was looking for the office.  Out of no where comes Tinker like a designated greeter and helps me find where I needed to go, talking my leg off the entire time we were together.  I learned he was a manager for several sports at the school and enjoyed interacting with everyone he could.  That part I could tell right away.  Later in the day when I was in the lunchroom with two of the boys I worked with up walks Tinker just as friendly as when we met earlier.  My two charges weren’t so nice in their response saying what I considered some awful things.  Tink just laughed it off and walked away. When he left I questioned why they were so mean to him.  “Oh everyone talks to Tinker that way, he’s a real loser, not even smart enough to know when people are making fun of him.”  “Still,” I answered, “it wouldn’t hurt you to be a little nicer to him.”  These guys just didn’t see it that way, “He’s such a dork he deserves everything he gets!  I thought about a couple of guys from my own school days, just like Tinker they never caused any trouble or harm, but were easy targets to be made fun of.  I learned Tinker was really getting verbally abused recently when he decided to go out for the track team as a long distance runner.  At the first practice Jeff, a really good runner and athlete gave him what for. “Tinker, you’re no long distance runner.  I’ll tell you what, I’m a sprinter and never done long distance either but just to prove you can’t do this we’ll race one time around the track, just you and me.” Well, needless to say it wasn’t much of a race.  Jeff would trot sometimes, other moments he’d run backwards smiling at Tinker as he struggled to make it round the track while the rest of the team hooted and taunted his every step.  Tinker finished the lap well behind Jeff, red faced and out of breath.  When he finally could speak, he looked directly at his smiling mocker and said, “At the end of the season we’ll race again, and I will beat you!” Years later when I was talking to Jeff about this moment he told me he didn’t put a lot of stock in Tinker’s challenge, then he said, “But I don’t think I had ever seen such determination in anyone’s face as was Tinker’s.”  And determination was right; call it having something to prove, maybe tired of the way he was always treated, Tinker was not about to give up his quest to be a runner.  One late afternoon as I was leaving the school, I noticed a lone soul out on the track chugging along–Tinker.  A teacher who was also one of the track coaches told me, “He doesn’t offer much but he’s always the first out to practice and the last to leave.”  When it came to meets, Tink very seldom got a chance to compete and if he did it was in a race that didn’t mean anything, and of course he would always finish last.  No matter how little chances he got to run, no matter how little attention the coaches and the rest of the team paid to him, and no matter still how much ribbing he would get from people thinking he was foolish to even try; he would not quit or give up.

Jeff who felt the same way as everyone else related to me the day he saw Tinker in a different light.  Some guys were working Tinker over verbally pretty hard after school as he made his way to track practice.  “Man, you are stupid to keep going out there when you stink so badly at running, why don’t you just quit?”  “For the first time ever I saw Tinker get angry,” Jeff told me.  “Tinker reeled around and looked at those guys and yelled I go out there because that’s my team and they need me.”  Everyone present started laughing until Tinker followed up, “All you guys do is run me down, but I’ve never seen any of you try out for anything, so who’s really the loser?”  It took a lot to get Tinker angry enough to say anything out of turn to someone and Jeff knew this.  Things were starting to look ugly until Jeff and another top athlete walked up.  Jeff put his hand on Tinker’s shoulder and said, “Tink, what are you doing messing around here, we got to get to practice, coach is counting on us tonight.”  Down the hall walked two star athletes, and between them, a short roly-poly boy everyone called Tinker, grinning ear to ear. Something else happened also, Tink always worked hard at every practice, but now there was an improvement in his running that could be seen.  He had dropped about 30 lbs during the season, but it didn’t seem to make a big difference.  But after Jeff came to his rescue, things changed and Tinker was improving.  Coaches decided to put him in as the second runner for the team in the 1600 meter toward the end of the season against a small school that they competed against.  The gun sounded and the two top runners from each team took off like the wind; Tinker and his competitor followed at a slower but steady pace.  The four laps went quickly and competitively as the first runners finish one, two with our school taking the top spot, but now there was another race going on, the battle for third place and the points that would go to which ever school took it.  Tinker and his combatant were pacing each other into the last lap when something happened.  People starting yelling, “Come on Tinker, you can do it!”  As he rounded each corner more people were yelling for him, “Go Tinker Go!”  Coming out of the back stretch, Tink was met by a sight he had never seen before, it was his team lined up along the track yelling and screaming encouragement, even a couple of the coaches were out there, and leading the cheering section, Jeff running stride for stride in the grass; “You can do this Tinker, don’t let up buddy!”

No where in the sports world or on any sports reel will you find evidence or even a mention of a meaningless, to most, of a race between two sub-par distance runners battling for 3^rd place for a single point at a high-school track meet.  But in a small Indiana community in the early evening hours of a warm spring day there was an explosion of cheers and elations when the announcer called out, “Third place finish in the 1600, goes to TINKER!!!!”

Encouragement is awesome. It (can) actually change the course of another person’s day, week, or life. Chuck Swindoll

Tinker had a lot going against him as an athlete; he was short, heavy and looked at as not being too bright.  But he didn’t buy into it; he just knew there was something he could offer to the team effort.  When it became apparent to others and they got on board and encouraged him; he did just that, he made a difference.  Not just in running a race but in his attitude, fortitude, and belief he was going to give his best no matter what it meant or looked like.  That inner strength made an impression on a number of people, the biggest of whom was a star athlete named Jeff.

To get to my point as a Christian, isn’t that what each of us who refer to ourselves by that name should be doing everyday?  Years ago I realized I wasn’t called to do great things in the name of my Lord and Savior as the world looks at accomplishments.  But what I have to give, what talents I possess how ever small they may be, is exactly what God is looking for from all of us–to use them for His glory in showing that we are a part of something bigger, better–an awesome team, an awesome Family in Christ.

Colossians 3:23 : “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.”

Well, thanks for tagging along as I told of another Traveler of the Rock Road.  What? What about the race between Tinker and Jeff? Well it happened and Jeff who now lives in Pennsylvania is a VP with a corporation.  There still to this day he talks about that moment when a short roly-poly wavy haired, freckled face kid called Tinker with a grin that went ear to ear taught him so much about perseverance, team effort, and life, raced him around the school track and (legitimately!) beat him by a good 15 meters! Awesome!!!