No, God, Not This (Part 2)

2 03 2014

Boom!  Boom!  Boom!  What is that?  Is someone breaking into the house with a battering ram or what?!!  The time was well past midnight, I Car crashhad worked a ton of hours this week and all I wanted was a solid night’s sleep.  Cathy and I had gone to bed, but didn’t have the phone in the bedroom with us so as not to be disturbed.  Now someone was beating on the front door so hard and long I thought they were going to smash it in.  Opening it I found the neighbor lady on the other side with a look of terror plastered across her face.  I didn’t even get a chance to ask what was wrong as she was blurting it out as I opened the door.  “John the hospital called me because they couldn’t raise you and someone knew we lived next door; there’s been an accident, a bad one, Justin was involved, but I don’t know if he’s okay or not.”  Now I’m wide awake and yelling to Cathy what was going on.  We were both dressed in minutes and heading out the door and down the road to the hospital.

This was the second time in my life I was called out in the middle of the night because a loved one of mine was in a serious accident. The first, for those who didn’t read last week’s blog was for my Great Aunt Pearl who had a major hand in raising me.  The accident happened in my birth state of West Virginia where I drove most of the night and the next day to reach her, only to have her pass away one hour after arrival.  Depression set in on me that fateful day and stayed for a number of years.  Now, 19 years later, I was once again racing to a hospital because of a car accident, only this was one closer, not only in distance, but in relationship; this was my son.

There had been five teenagers in the car when the crash occurred, two in the front and three in backseat with Justin sitting in the middle with no seatbelt.  The boy driving had taken a curve too fast, went off the road smashed head on into a tree.  The impact was so violent it caused Justin to be catapulted out of the backseat, past the front and then crash through the windshield and on to the hood of the car.  The young man in the passenger’s front seat died instantly on impact.  At this point I knew our son was alive, but did not know how severe his injuries were.  My head was spinning and my stomach was tied in a knot so bad I thought I’d lose everything in it.  Once again I was crying out, “Please God, not this, not my baby boy!”  The pain was there, just like before.  The fear of the unknown was back, just like before.  But then, something happened, something real, something audible if only to me.  “Didn’t you dedicate him to me as a babe?  Did not he accept me as Savior years prior?  Do you once again not trust me with the one you love, with the one I love even more?”  Quietness came over me at that moment and whether or not anyone else believes it, I know, God was speaking to my heart.  Yes, as a baby my Lady and I dedicated him to the Lord saying we would do all in our power to raise him in the understanding that God was there to love him even more than we could.  Yes, at a young age while talking to his mother about God, she led him to salvation in Christ, something she did with all three of our children and she sees as one of the greatest rewards of motherhood.  Now there was another voice, “Either you believe in your God that He loves you or it’s nothing more than empty words, what’s it gonna be?”

Chuck Swindoll says this; “We must cease striving and trust God to provide what He thinks is best and in whatever time He chooses to make it available.  But this kind of trusting doesn’t come naturally.  It’s a spiritual crisis of the will in which we must choose to exercise faith.”  But I trust in you Oh Lord, I say, you are my God.  Psalm 31:14

My prayer was a short and simple one, “God, I’m scared.  I’m scared because I don’t want to lose my son.  But I know, no matter what happens, he belongs to you and I will trust in you no matter what, amen.”

I don’t think anything can tear the heart out of you like seeing your child laying motionless on a gurney covered in dirt, wounds and blood.  But then there’s also nothing that can drive you to your knees and want to scream out “thank you God!” like the sound of that child saying to you then, “Dad, I’m alright.”

The true meaning of “faith” came home to roost that night, not just in the fact that my son’s life was spared, but also that if it wasn’t he would still be okay, better than okay, he would be with the Lord waiting to see mom and me again, in celebration of life eternal.

As for the boy whose earthly life was cut short, well talk to his mother.  There’s still some pain there of course, we’re only human.  But she’ll be the first to say she will see her son again someday, because “She Knows” he is with the Lord.

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”  Corrie Ten Boom

Some form of tragedy will strike every man, woman and child sometime in life.  The question then becomes where you find rest, where do you find comfort.  Call me crazy, a fanatic or whatever, I’ve learned that for me there’s only one place I can go for that rest and comfort, only one place I can go for continued strength to face each day.

Psalm 103:17 – But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him and his righteousness with their children’s children.

Fellow Travelers of the Rock Road, I don’t always make a plea such as this; but if you have never trusted Christ as your Savior there’s no better time that now.  God loves you so much but He will not force His will, His gift upon you, the Choice is yours.  Revelation 3:20.

Thanks to all who took the time to read this, I’m sure for some it wasn’t easy to read these last two stories, no more than it was for me to write them.  But as always I’m not hear just to tell you a story, I do this because I believe God wants me to share these moments from my life so that they may possibly be a help to another who just may be going through the same thing and needing something more than they already have.

Who knows, maybe next week I may tell you how I chased this same child down the street when he was little because he made a can of pop explode all over me.

Never a dull moment, but I wouldn’t have it any other way!!!

Blessings to you and your loved ones!!




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