I remember the place like it was yesterday; one large room that had actually been a sunroom when 1st built. Now with a drop ceiling, indoor/outdoor carpet, and cheap paneling put up to close it in, it was now our combination kitchen, dining and living room. A small hallway led to our bath that was only big enough for one person at a time and that barely! On the other side of the wall from the living quarters was the bedroom, which once had been a garage. The place came furnished in Early American Garage Sale, the kitchen cabinets were hung by someone snapping a chalk line, nailing up 2x4s and hammering the backs of the cabinets to the wall. I guess the most memorable point was how cold it was in the winter, probably because in several places you could see through the wall to the outside; other than all that it made the perfect young married couple college abode. More than one time while living there the thought came, ‘What in the world had I gotten us into?’
Living and growing up in our hometown of Fremont, Ohio, my Lady and I had no thoughts or intentions of leaving there and why should we? Most of our friends and family were there; we had promising jobs and were one of the few newlywed couples to start life with a house instead of an apartment. There’s also a well respected college and trade school located there which offered training in some great fields of occupation. And besides that I had recently been approached to be the drummer of the hottest band in Toledo which was kind of a dream come true for this wanna-be rock and roll star!!
So why leave all that behind and start anew in a place where we hardly knew a soul, had to watch every dime we spent and had only each other to rely on? Well, I felt God had spoken to my heart that this is where he wanted us to be, me studying at a Christian College while Cathy worked full time at a bank to keep the bills paid. Oh yeah, and no more than 5 years and we were out of here. WRONG!! Living in that converted screen room and garage that nearly froze us to death that 1st winter should have been seen as an omen that I had made a big mistake, and the next 3 years didn’t get any better. School was a disaster and money got so tight we found ourselves for a time on food stamps and doing anything we could to survive, including selling my guitars and most of my drumset. Finally leaving school, I took a job that I completely hated and found myself often wondering how everything got so wrong that I had felt was so right in the beginning.
Did I misunderstand God’s plan? Were we not supposed to leave our childhood home and come to Indiana? Well, the easy answer would be yes, it was a boneheaded thing to leave and give up the security we had once known. But still, there was something in me that said this wasn’t a mistake, this is where God wants us to be. As time went on I learned that to be true.
You see back home Cathy and I had two opposing forces that worked against any chances of a happy marriage. The first and strongest was my friends and associations I had in the music world; that influence was a negative on trying to have a good relationship with my Lady. The more I held on to those relationships the more it worked as a wedge between her and me. I am totally convinced that had we stayed, our marriage wouldn’t have lasted long, which would have meant losing out on spending my life with the greatest person God could have paired me with, and also never knowing people who have blessed my life the most, my children and grandchildren. The other force was Cathy’s family. Now I know that sounds rather harsh like I didn’t like her family, but that not the case; they were wonderful people and I loved them dearly. But no disrespect intended; there was this pressure for us to live our lives a certain way that was being dictated to us. I realize they had the best intentions, like all parents, but had Cathy and I not gotten away from everyone and learned to depend, listen and grow together our chances would have been just as detrimental as the control my friends had on me.
It was a slow process for the two of us with many trials and setbacks over those early years, but time and God came to prove to us we were where we should be, doing what our Lord intended for us. The opportunities for doing many things we never gave thought to have been tremendous in growing together, and in the Lord who had I not listened to His voice years ago we would have never experienced all the blessings that have come our way which out weigh the bad times tremendously.
J.I. Packer in his book Knowing God says this;
“Wait on the Lord” is a constant refrain in the Psalms, and it is a necessary word, for God often keeps us waiting. He is not in such a hurry as we are, and it is not his way to give more light on the future than we need for action in the present, or to guide us more than one step at a time. When in doubt, do nothing, but continue to wait on God. When action is needed, light will come.”
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3: 5,6.
One of my favorite places to be is in my basement studio by myself. In some ways it reminds me of that little apartment Cathy and I started in when we moved to Indiana. It’s kind of roughed in here and there, but it has a personality all its own. It’s a reminder of a time that I felt I had made a mistake in knowing God’s will for my life, when all it was, was just the beginning of Him saying, “Wait on me, I have a better plan than you realize.” I got no complaints!
By the way, I did finally get that degree I came out here for but not at the college I 1st attended. Boiler Up!!!
Blessings to you Friends and Family!!!
The pastor that married Gerald and me always said that newlyweds should live at least 150 miles from either set of parents, because then they would depend on each other,rather than falling back into being someone’s daughter or son instead of husband and wife.
When we reconciled, we knew that we needed to do the same, and that is why we moved here to Indiana, so we would grow completely together, choose to trust and believe each other, find a church where no one knew us or our story, and build a new and stronger foundation than what we’d known before.
So glad we did. I sure do believe we NEEDED to meet you. 🙂
When we came here I’m not sure why we even had a phone. If anyone called it was either a wrong number or a sales call, we were totally alone to depend on each other and God, and that is what I feel made the difference in our lasting relationship. Always appreciate your remarks and insight. 🙂