I read an article that stated 46% of all families in America are affected by at least one member’s use and dependence on narcotics or alcohol. It went on to state that family members of an addict will suffer trauma trying to deal with an individual emotionally, psychologically, financially, and socially. The addict does not see how they are destroying the lives of ones that love them so dearly, and often don’t realize they’re slowly destroying themselves. Reading this article made me cringe often as the words painted graphic pictures in my mind of what these poor people are going through. I closed the article and thanked God we had never gone through that, and I was convinced probably wouldn’t. I saw these souls as ones that never seemed to get a break in life and really didn’t have a close-knit family circle. Our family had problems just like any do, but my feeling because of the love and way our household was, it certainly would never be a problem. Oh, how little I understood and knew.
Our daughter, Jamie, began to have problems from a series of traumatic events that were occurring in her life. She found refuge with a group of friends that introduced her to the drug culture. In the early days it was experimenting with marijuana, but as time went on our little girl began using harder drugs until she became addicted to methamphetamine. The Jamie Melissa we all knew and loved was disappearing and a new individual, one with anger issues, disorientation, and very dark in her personality was emerging. Where at one time a strong and well respected individual in the work field now could not hold a job. After sometime her marriage fell apart and she and her children moved in with us. Things got so bad and the atmosphere became so volatile we had no choice but to tell her she had to leave, but the kids could stay with us. She became homeless and ran with ones exactly like her. I never knew what was going on with her; the only thing I could do was pray that this addiction would not take her life and she would turn her life around. As Jamie spiraled downward in her life, many who once cared for her walked away. They saw nothing that gave them hope she would straighten up.
There were times I wanted to give up too; I just didn’t know what to do. I won’t deny that as a young man I smoked my share of marijuana and even experimented with hallucinogenic drugs. But like most of my friends I moved past that stage in my life and never had any adverse effects from my drug use. But this meth that so many become addicted to today grabs an individual in a strangle hold and won’t let go. It all seemed so hopeless and it was destroying not only her but my Lady and me as well. We sought help but to no avail; if she wasn’t ready to stop nothing was going to change. So once again I turned to the only thing I could do. Pray. I reminded God that I dedicated her to Him when she was just a baby. No matter what, she was still His and I prayed and pleaded to our Lord for help. It finally came, but not the way I was wanting; Jamie was finally arrested and spent time in the local jail. When I saw her picture on the local news website, I could hardly recognize her. She had become hard looking and older than her years. I told God that wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but at least locked up she was safe. And alive. The frustration and sadness continued to grow in me to the point that I began thinking I should be like everyone else and give up. But somewhere deep in my soul was a small quiet voice that said, “No, don’t give up. Keep praying, keeping believing that a miracle is going to happen.”
Colossians 4:2 from the Message Bible: “Pray diligently. Stay alert, with your eyes wide open in gratitude.”
During this time, I wore a wrist bracelet with the word “Focus” on it. It was a reminder that no matter what happens, no matter what troubles come, keep my focus on the One that was there for me, Our Lord. Jamie knew this, but somewhere along the way she had lost her focus and she needed to get it back. Now I could probably go on enough to write a book on the everything that happened, but I’m going to cut to the chase as they say. I continued to let God know that jail wasn’t what I was wanting for my girl; I wanted healing. As time went on it became apparent that the healing was going to come though that incarceration. She was looking at several years of lockup, but the courts gave her chance to redeem herself. First by placing her in a recovery house and providing people and organizations to help her get back on track. She was assigned to a caring but firm case manager that she had to report to weekly. There was mandatory drug testing, sometimes 4 a week. Jamie was required to attend several different meetings a week to learn from others that had been in the same shape she was in. It wasn’t time to shoot off the fireworks yet, but there began a noticeable change. So, I continued to pray.
A young man that was in another recovery house had to go to many of the same classes, and they became friends, helping and encouraging each other. It wasn’t easy with all the hoops she had to jump through or go back to jail, but she continued on the path to recovery. Time came where she met all the requirements needed and moved into her own place. She still had to meet with her case manager, report to court to talk about her progress, and still make all the required meetings, while at the same time holding down a full-time job. I don’t know many people that could have done all that, but there was now a fire in Jamie’s heart to be healed from this self-induced illness. But she stayed the course, and I continue to pray and believe God was going to do a miracle. The time came when her two daughters moved back in with her. The young man, Curtis, who I firmly believe God sent, became more than a friend. Over Thanksgiving they became engaged. Again, I could go on for a long time but let’s get to the important part. This Monday we traveled the 125 miles to attend a court session Jamie was in. But this time it wasn’t because she was in trouble. After nearly two years our beloved daughter had completed the county drug rehabilitation program and graduated with flying colors! The judge and her case worker both said how proud of her they were at this remarkable turnaround in her life. Not only that but told how she was now mentoring others that were just starting their long road to recovery.
She and Curtis are now heading up a recovery group, and Jamie serves on the board for Narcotics Anonymous. When given the chance both her mother and youngest daughter said through tears how proud they were of her. When it came my time, I presented her with a wrist bracelet like mine with the word “Focus.” My baby girl that I nicked named Sunshine when she was little was now “Traveling the Rock Road” sober minded thanks be to God and the wonderful people He surrounded her with.
I haven’t written in my blog for quite a while, but I wanted to tell you this story for several reasons. The first of course, is we have our daughter back and words can’t describe our joy. Another reason and as I mentioned in the beginning many people across our country and the world are also going though what appears to be a hopeless situation. I say to you, “Don’t give up!” Healing has come to Jamie Melissa; and it can happen to you and your loved ones, too. Another point, don’t give up on that one that is so precious to you. Fight with all you have to see them restored. As for me, I never gave up the fight; I just learned a battle plan. That plan is on your knees praying earnestly and continually to our Lord who loves each of us so much. God won’t give up on you; you don’t give up on Him. I’m going to let Jamie close with words she wrote this week that I pray will be a help to someone else.
“I’m finding it hard to find the words to accurately express how truly blessed I feel right now. 21 months ago, I started this journey. This has been one of the hardest, most worthwhile experiences I’ve ever been a part of. Through a lot of hard work, determination and dedication I have gained a 2nd chance at living the life God intended me to live. Through a lot of surrender, acceptance and forgiveness I have come to terms with the chaos addiction caused in my life and have begun healing not just myself but relationships with the people I love most. This chapter may be ending but my recovery is just beginning. I’m so grateful for all the people that have supported and encouraged me through all of this. I love you all so very much!!”
“To the addict still struggling: Change is possible!! Recovery is possible!! It’s a lot of hard work but it’s totally worth it!! Please don’t hesitate to reach out if I can help you. I’m already praying for you!”
We Do Recover!! ❤️❤️
Blessings Family and Friends.