Brother of Mine

3 02 2019

I’ve explained on several occasions that I grew up not knowing my father. He was in Ma’s Rock _nlife for just a short instance, but the moment he knew I was on the way he slapped it in “B” for boogie and was gone. Early in my life it was hard, but I grew past a desire to have this man in my life. Then one day in the early 80s I received two pieces of news that caught me by surprise. The first was my father suffered a heart attack and passed away. It saddened me a bit that we never got to meet but I was okay. The 2nd revelation however was more surprising. I found out I had a half-brother that wanted to meet me. Matt was 8 years older and like me, grew up without the old man in his life. The day after the revelation of a sibling, we spoke on the phone and it was truly an enjoyable conversation. We spoke of our childhood days and what interests we had in common. I could feel excitement growing inside me. To think how lonely I’d felt at times during my youth being an only child, and now I could say I have a brother!

Several days later we were having coffee, face to face, in his kitchen. We laughed, talked about our families and careers plus exchanged pictures. I think I smiled the entire return trip home. This was more awesome than anything I ever experienced. There was going to be new plans to make, outings, holiday get togethers, family portraits, everything that others experienced I was now going to be a part of. But as we know, dreams don’t always measure up to reality.

It wasn’t long before we came to realize that even though we shared a mutual bloodline our personalities and overall attitudes were polar opposites. I was pretty laid back and seldom got upset. Matt, on the other hand, began to show he was very sober minded, didn’t care for much joking around, and probably the worse was he’d question what you meant when you something that he might take wrong. The get togethers became less as well as phone calls until finally all communication ceased. For a time, I questioned if I had done or said something that I needed to make right. But the truth of matter was this. Yes, blood made us brothers, but it couldn’t make us friends.  There were just too many differences us.

I found a quote that goes like this. “Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what.” Even though I had a large hole in my life from the lack of family, God filled that gap with people who became as close as family, if not more. There are several that I know that all I have to do is pick up the phone, and they’re there for me. And it doesn’t even have to be important, anything including just to hear a voice that knows me, that loves me just the way I am. That my friend, is family.

As a Christian I also have a family in Christ Jesus. The Bible is clear that even though each of us are completely different as individuals, we make up the family of God who is called upon to love each other.

John 13:35 “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Perhaps if Matt and I had been raised together things would have been different. I have two sons that are different as day and night, but they love each other and are best friends. I’m very proud of that by the way.

I think of Matt from time to time. Perhaps as fellow “Travelers of the Rock Road” our paths will cross again. But if not the best to you Older Brother. Remember, Millers Rule!!

See ya next time.




One response

16 02 2019
Beverly Crane

Such a wonderful story you have shared. So many of us have distant half brother or sisters we’ve never met or have met and then never stay in touch. I’m one of those people. Thank you John for sharing your life stories because I can relate to many of them. God Bless you and your family.

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