Alone

4 06 2017

When I look back at all the problems Ma experienced both physically and emotionally, I Rock _nrealize my biggest concern was someday I would leave home and she would grow old all alone. I never knew my father and with the exception of the man she married for a short time when I was a child, there was no one to take care and love her. She dated several times but they never lasted, seems she always sent them packing with the warning to never come back. So as she grew older Cathy and I had to take care of her, and the thought would come as to what life might have been like had she had a spouse. Since God blessed me with my incredible Lady these past 40 plus years, the concept of being alone was strange and even frightening to this man. Frankly looking back at my life before Cathy makes me wonder if I would even be alive at this point if it was not for her being there as my helpmate. Then one day I remembered a conversation my beloved Great Aunt Pearl and I had several years after I had married.

A new man had come into my mother’s life that at first appearance it seemed she finally found someone perfect for her. But just like the others it wasn’t long before she sent him away like the others. Feeling frustrated about Ma’s losing streak with men, I asked Pearl what she thought the problem was.  She explained to me that it wasn’t just one problem but several. The first was the betrayal mom felt with my father when he never had anything more to do with her or me after he found out mom was pregnant. She truly loved him but was deeply hurt when she discovered his true colors.  Arlan, my short-term stepfather, came along when she was desperate to have a man in her life. Unfortunately, he turned out to be a hard core violent alcoholic, so he was gone. After that she used (what Pearl called) a man measuring stick and if they didn’t measure up to what she was looking for she didn’t want them around. There was a pause and a gaze as if Pearl was peering at something far off before continuing. She went on to tell me that there were certain traits a man had to possess to come in my mom’s life. He had to be hardworking able to support a family, he had to treat her with tenderness and true love, he had to be honest to her about everything in his life, but most of all, he had to love me the same way she did. If they couldn’t give her that then she didn’t want them around.

Romans 8:38-39 “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

As Ma “Traveled the Rock Road” of life she discovered a love that was true, that was always there, and that would never leave or forsake her. And the more she gripped on to the love of God the more content with her situation she became. She used to say to me; “God has given me you, and a wonderful family of a daughter, grandchildren and great-grandchildren; I have been blessed to have so much love in my life.” October 30, 2008 my young, beautiful and vibrant mom found herself in the arms of her greatest true love, Jesus, and will never be alone again.

Proverbs 8:17 “I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.”

Matthew 28:20b “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Psalm 136:1-3 “Praise the Lord! He is good. God’s love never fails Praise the God of all gods God’s love never fails Praise the Lord of lords. God’s love never fails.”

Now I realize there are many around the world who like Ma find themselves alone, and if it were possible I’d gather all of them together to love and protect for as long as I could. But God knew the frailties of man, our limitations, and our short stay on planet earth when we consider eternity. That’s why He’s there for us, when others fail to do so. He had a plan of Ma’s life; He has a plan for your life. The only question then is will you accept it?

As one writer put it, “No matter who you are or even what you’ve done, God loves you today, He loved you yesterday, He loves you tomorrow. He loves you Always.”

Just some thoughts from the Gray One,

See ya next time.


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