Traveling the Rock Road

This last Friday one of the greatest male influences on my life passed away at the age of 91. My Uncle Carl lived a rather colorful life compared to most of us, but never looked at it as anything special, that’s how he looked at everything in his life. This is a story I wrote about Carl a number of years back, kind of an explanation of why he truly was special to me, and many others.  Thanks for reading.

Carl spent a good portion of his life overseas first as a Marine during WW2 and then working government jobs in the Philippines, Saudi Arabia, Okinawa and even Viet Nam. When I was a boy and mom would tell me her big brother Carl was stateside and would be visiting; it was like the President himself was coming to our house and my excitement would overflow. Growing up without a father, Carl became an important role model in my life.

In my mother’s latter days she, my wife Cathy and I traveled to Las Vegas to visit her big brother since they had not seen each other for many years. The trip was an enjoyable one seeing Carl and his wife Sue, fully enjoying their company. Carl and I spent a lot time talking about where life had led us and I loved to hear about his exploits both then and in the past. Being a man who always kept himself in top physical shape, even then in his golden years he had one room filled with exercise equipment that he still used religiously. “Carl, do you still power walk like you used to?” “No, I had to give that up,” he answered. “The neighborhood started changing a few years back, got a little rougher. A bunch of kids on the other side of the block started pelting me with eggs so I stopped.” Now I was angry, “Carl, that’s not right; show me where these kids live and I’ll get it straightened out with their parents, one way or another!” With a soft smile Carl looked at me and said, “Johnny, I’m fine, it no big deal.” No big deal?!! Sure seemed like it to me, but okay if that’s the way he saw it.

The next evening Carl took Cathy and me down to Fremont Street; where the original Vegas Strip was located, only now it was covered in a canopy where this awe inspiring laser projected show was shown accompanied by beautiful patriotic surround sound music. The whole production was captivating and when it was over we looked for Carl but couldn’t find him. When we did there was a small group of people having their picture taken with him and each shaking his hand before walking away. When we reached him he smiled, looked heaven ward and shook his head; “Happens all the time, I gotta get rid of this hat.” The hat he referred to was the one he was wearing with just a few words written on it; “Iwo Jima Survivor”

The Battle for Iwo Jima was the bloodiest conflict in the South Pacific during WW2, during the 5 week conquest to capture the island from the Japanese, American troops lost nearly 7,000 men with another 19,000 wounded. This single battle produced more Congressional Medal of Honor winners than any other conflict in our nation’s history. “Carl,” I said. “That hat signifies you as someone who went through and survived more hell than most of us will ever know; what you did for our county marks you as someone special and a hero to many.” We started to walk off but then he turned, looked me in the eyes and said those same words I heard from him about another conflict; “Johnny, it’s no big deal.”

Over the years since that moment, I have thought about his words often, how he described two clashes in his life, one major and one minor in the great scheme of things. And for both circumstances he summed them up with the exact same words and attitude, “It’s no big deal.”

C.S. Lewis said “What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step.” I have known few men like my Uncle Carl, who after going through great tribulation have survived mentally and well as physically because they have adopted this position; it’s behind you now, keep going, and don’t look back. He’s never realized the great lesson I learned from his words, “It’s no big deal.” He also taught me something about being a Christian from those words also.

“God knows our situation; He will not judge us as if we had no difficulties to overcome. What matters is the sincerity and perseverance of our will to overcome them.” Once again C.S. Lewis.

Carl’s attitude made me realize that’s how my Lord wants me to live, don’t get weighed down by my battles and scars that come from those battles; continue on, one step at a time, trusting in His love and will for me.

Romans 5:1-5:” Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

This day I honor my Beloved Uncle Carl who has come to the end of his “Travels on the Rock Road,” but his legacy and approach to life will continue to live on in his children, grandchildren, and one nephew who loved him so much.

Here’s an excerpt from the Marine’s Prayer: “If I am inclined to doubt, steady my faith; if I am tempted, make me strong to resist; if I should miss the mark, give me courage to try again. Guide me with the light of truth and grant me wisdom by which I may understand the answer to my prayer.”

R.I.P. Uncle Carl,

And thank you.

See you all next week!!

Back in young days it wasn’t unusual for me to leave Ohio on a Friday evening, drive all night to reach my birth home in southern West Virginia the next morning. It was a trip I never wearied making for two reasons; the first to be in the midst of the hills I had loved all my life, and the second and most important was to be with family that lived there and that I loved so much. Perhaps some would say because I grew up with only a mother as immediate family is why these folks were so dear to me. Personally though, I think there was something, something special that set them apart especially the five I lovingly referred to as the “Old Guard.” These were four sisters and a brother, my great aunts and great uncle who took the place of grandparents in my life, and especially my beloved Aunt Pearl who was there me for during my childhood. These dear saints had a way of making you feel cared for by their kind mannerisms and down home Appalachian hospitality that permeated every inch of their existence. I used to love to sit and listen to their stories of growing up back in the early years of the 20^th Century, of living on little, but learning how to appreciate everything. Their simple grassroots ideologies on life made an impact on me to a point that I still practice many today.

So when I got the chance, a full tank of gas and few bucks in my pocket, it was “Country Roads take me Home.” Many of my friends couldn’t understand why I’d choose to spend hours driving down to WVa and back over hanging out with them and partying. “Have I ever told you about my family?” I’d ask. “Believe me you’d understand if you ever met them.” So began a time of taking friends with me to see and meet the people I considered more precious than wealth and fame. I loved to see their faces and listen to their expressions of awe from seeing the beauty of the mountains of Southern West Virginia for the first time. I would smile as they enjoyed incredibly tasty meals where most of what would be served was homegrown. But mostly I enjoyed watching my friends as they interacted, listened, and learned from the folks I so often bragged about; they learned I did not overstate a single word about the ones I called my people. At the end of the visit and we returned to our northern home, the conversation would be filled with everything my friends experienced from meeting my family and seeing the place I bragged on so much. One told me “I have never felt so loved outside my family as I did during this trip.” And each would have the same question, “So when can I come back with you again?”

“If instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of love into the hearts of others, that would be giving as the angels give.” George McDonald, paraphrased.

I wanted so much for my friends to experience first hand the people and place I spoke of so often with pride. But more than anything I wanted them to experience the love I cherished and received from the “Old Guard.” Each that came with me did just that, and each today would tell you it was something special.

Someone said “If you had the cure to cancer wouldn’t you share it? … You have the cure to death … get out there and share it.”

On Oct. 7, 1972, I experienced a new love, a different love even more powerful than the one I knew from my family. This love came to me as one that would go on forever, eternally; this love came in the form of a Savior. And this love is so special I just have to share it with others.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

The Old Guard finished their Travels on the “Rock Road” many years ago; they’d all be over 100 years old today. But the love they instilled in me lives on and I know someday I’ll see them again. How do I know this? Because each of them knew the love of a Savior also, I’m betting that’s the basis of why they gave of themselves to others.

So if they were still around I’d probably say, “Have I told you about my family, they are so awesome and you would simply love them!”

Friend, have I told you about my Jesus? He is so awesome and He simply and completely loves you!
See ya next time.

It was a beautiful day for a mother and daughter to spend time together talking laughing and not giving thought to anything bad happening. They had been at the Indiana State Fair and were now heading home with the daughter driving and mom riding shotgun. They had gotten separated from other family members driving a different car so they pulled into a drugstore parking lot in a small town to sit and wait for the others to catch up. Like I said not a care in the world, that is until they saw a car barreling down on them. Someone was driving fast and erratically out on the road, but had now veered into the parking lot and was heading straight toward our two gals, who had no time to react, not even pray; only brace for an impending impact that could easily be fatal!

The moment was upon them, but instead on a devastating collision the car racing toward them began to slow down dramatically until it came to a stop, just inches from the mom and her daughter. When breath came back to everyone involved the woman driving the oncoming vehicle rolled down her window and asked if they were alright. “Yes, we’re alright,” came an excited response from the daughter, “What were you doing?” With hardly a hesitation the woman responded, “I was trying to kill myself.”

Now there come moments in life when there is no good retort or reply to statements that might be made to us, and someone telling you they were trying to kill themselves definitely falls into that category. I suppose they could have said “Well thank God you didn’t” or “Next time how about picking a target that doesn’t involve other people!” then hightail it out of there to get as far from this gal as possible. But the mother had other ideas that she was being led to follow. Without hesitation she got out walked over and climbed into the passenger seat of someone she didn’t know and who frankly could still do something irrational. But the mother held a belief, rather a faith that told her she needed to go to this woman and see what she could do to help. She based this faith on words such as;

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

It was only a matter of seconds before this distraught soul was pouring out her heart telling the mother all the pressures and problems she was experiencing that led her to believe there was no reason to continue on. When she finished the mother gave her reasons of why her life was important, and how much God loved her. They parted with a prayer and exchange of telephone numbers so they could stay in touch.

“Well I’m certainly glad God brought us together” the mother told her new friend and then “and that you were able to get your car stopped in time.” The woman looked at her and said, “That’s one of the funniest things, I don’t ever remember hitting the brake.”

You don’t have to agree with me, but I got a feeling someone had a ton of angels dragging that car to a halt! This lady had an idea of giving up everything, but God had a plan for her to gain so much more with the aide of one of His agents, one of His servants.

1 Peter 3:15 “But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect”

On a beautiful sunshiny day two “Travelers of the Rock Road” came together unexpectedly; one who saw no hope left in life, and one prepared to show that best part of life was still waiting for the other to see and accept.

I guess the question now is which traveler are you, the one looking for hope and life, or the one who holds answers to those questions?  If you’re the latter then all I can say is stay ready; you just never know who God is going to send barreling your way!

See ya next time!

I was recently reminded of one summer day when my buddy and I were out cruising in his brand new Pontiac Lemans. With a 12 pack of PBRs chilling in an ice chest in the backseat, we didn’t have a destination; we just wanted to ride for we felt on top of the world and were enjoying the day too much to have a care; that’s about the time he came into view. This old man was walking along the highway wearing a long coat lugging a dirty cloth satchel over his shoulder. He looked odd donning a winter coat on such a hot day and he was moving so slow that we felt the need to stop and give him a lift. I climbed in back and as soon as he got in the car the oder this man carried nearly made us sick. Underneath that big coat were at least two other jackets and maybe two shirts. My friend stepped on the gas and we rolled down all the windows to get some air circulating before we lost consciousness! This weary traveler opened up all the shirts and coats down to a t-shirt to let the air hit his body and then closed his eyes for a spell; not knowing how long he had been out there I’m sure he was completely exhausted. Trying to talk to him was futile as we soon realized he was completely deaf, so I took a beer out of the cooler and passed it up to him. He didn’t spend a minute drinking it straight down. Passed him another with the same results; finally on the 3^rd bottle the major portion of his thirst have been quenched and he now took his time drinking. It was at this point he began to unfold a portion of his life’s story.

“I live in Toledo at the shelter but when I was your age I used to be a test driver for a major tire company down in Akron. One day it occurred to me I was never paid my last week’s earnings; $42. So I walked all the way there to get my money, took almost a month but I made it. Talked to a guy at the front gate of the company and told him my story. He had me wait there while he went inside. When he came back he had the money in hand and said, yeah you’re right, here ya go.” Sensing his mental fitness was not what it should be, we had no way of knowing if he actually made it all the way to Akron or not; figured he got confused and stopped at the first factory that seemed familiar, probably a security guard took up a collection from people working there just to get him to leave. He took out a plastic baggie of cigarette butts, rolled two or three in a cigarette paper, lit it and started again. “Yeah back in the 30s and 40s I would go out on a test track and drive as hard and fast as I could so they could see how well their tires would hold up, they even took movies of me that played in theaters showing off my skills behind the wheel.” A long pause before, “Yeah I was something special back then.” Other than some mumbling we couldn’t make out, he didn’t say another word.

When we got to Toledo we asked directions where the shelter was located and dropped our new friend off in front, but not before sticking a $20 bill in his pocket, I guess maybe to make ourselves feel good for helping the old guy. As we drove away I could see him in the side mirror watching us until we were out of sight. Perhaps in that moment he was remembering a time when he felt on top of the world and enjoyed life so much he didn’t have a care; maybe he hoped we’d turn around and take him with us. Who knows, but years later when I thought about this chance encounter I wondered what became of the old test driver; and just how much difference really was there between him and me.

I thought of a quote I used carry with me, “When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

I don’t know what happened in that man’s life, but evidently something that took away who he saw himself as and what he believed gave his life status. I’ve seen it several times over in others including me. When I realized my reach for musical stardom was at an end, I would still look back at those days as having more importance than what lay ahead of me in other opportunities, even if they didn’t bring the accolades of many, there was still worth to my life.

For me that lesson came home to roost when I gave my life over to Christ and learned He had a purpose for me, just as He has a purpose for all who believe on Him.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:18-19

Many, like today’s “Traveler of the Rock Road,” have seen when the path ahead of them is smooth and easy, even rewarding, but do not know what to do when the road becomes rough. That, my friends, is where the hand of God and the fortitude He puts in each of us won’t take us back to the past, but can certainly brighten our future. The choice is ours.

“Don’t be afraid to keep moving on, for what was before, now has gone. God wants to accomplish so much more, but we need to move forward in the Lord.” M.S. Lowndes

See ya next time!

Cath and I traveled to northwest Ohio last week where we found ourselves at a birthday (so to speak) being celebrated on the shores of Lake Erie. Actually it was folks from my graduating class who had gathered together to commemorate that most would be turning 60 this year. (Yeah, I’m older but they still let me hang out with them!)

I suppose you could say there wasn’t anything incredibly special about this gala; we had some prizes, raffles, a great dinner and even sang Happy Birthday to the class. Other than that it was just people hanging out talking, laughing and smiling. Talking. Laughing. Lots of Smiling.   Perhaps when I say it wasn’t incredibly special that may not be entirely true. You see our class is little different when it comes to gatherings. Most high school reunions are held every 5 years, some 10, and I know a few that seldom if ever had met after graduation. Would you believe since the year 2008 this group has come together five times! I’ve told that stat to other people who have made comments like, “Your class trying to set a record or what?!” And “You guys must be one large group of party animals!” Then I’ve also heard “You like each other that much to meet like that? Awesome”!

As I was driving over from Indiana for this latest celebration, I gave some thought to the question of just what it is that brings the class of 1973 together so often. For me and my Lady it’s partly a reason to come home where we grew up since we have no family left to visit there. Truthfully, I wasn’t well connected to my classmates during high school years; my closest relationships were with the band I was in and they were all older and out of school. Still I enjoy being at these functions particularly watching people’s eyes light up when they spot precious people from their past as they arrive, and thus begins the talk and the laughter, and yes the forever smiles that would go on all night if allowed. I began to see in my mind what makes this class so special, but I wanted to hear from others their opinion on the subject. So I asked a number of folks at this last gathering, “What is it that you think makes our class special?” A couple of them had to think for a minute but most gave an answer right away. “It’s because we care for each other.” “After all these years these are the ones who relate to who I am the best.” “It doesn’t matter who you are out there in the world; you’re accepted here.” “No matter how long it’s been we pick right back up as if no time has passed whatsoever.”

As I put these thoughts to paper I suddenly realized these are not descriptive of a high school reunion group, these folks are defining what we generally call, Family.

“Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what.”

I know some will disagree with me, but I truly believe that this group I simply refer to as “73” can proudly be seen as more than a group of aging teenagers if you please, they truly possess something special. It has nothing to do with status since we all have had diverse levels of success since leaving school. I firmly believe it’s something richer than rank or class, it’s true and genuine “caring” for one another.

I’m reminded of a quote by my favorite author C.S. Lewis, “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”

Thank you 73, for you have made this “Traveler of the Rock” and his Lady feel special, because of your care for us, and for each other.

“Good friends care for each other, Close friends understand each other, but True friends stay forever, beyond Words, beyond Distance, beyond Time”

No argument here!
See ya next time!!

Couldn’t believe my eyes when I walked into the crowded room and got a glance of one of the last guys I thought I’d see at a low key function like this one was. There was old Jesse, one of the craziest, hard living, party all the time fellows I ever knew. He had quite a reputation of living for the moment but not being able to remember a whole lot about it the next morning. I liked old Jess, everyone did, but we didn’t hang out with him much mainly because I felt his lifestyle would put him in an early grave and there was no desire in me to follow suit. He once told me if he didn’t drink 6 beers first thing in the morning or smoke some good marijuana, he didn’t feel natural. He’d say; “Hey, you only live once and it might end up short; so I’m going to go for all the gusto and living I can get!” I had to agree with Jesse, the way he lived there’s no doubt he was having a good time, but he also had me believing he wouldn’t be around long enough to grow old. Now here he was at a gathering to hear an author talk about books he had written. He was standing with several others, drinking coffee, laughing and looking more alert than I had ever remembered seeing from him in the past. I walked up and casually said “Jess?”

He turned to see who called his name, and then a big smile covered his face. “Hey Miller, how’d you sneak into this place?!!” I wanted to ask him the same thing, but he dominated the conversation as if he didn’t want me to say a whole lot. He introduced me to his wife, a very lovely woman who I spoke to briefly before Jesse said, “Well we’ve got to get to our seats, good to see you John.” I returned his words and he was gone leaving me trying to figure out what just happened.

After the author was finished speaking, people were milling around again drinking punch and making small talk. I was standing in a small group when I saw Jesse heading what I thought was my way. Instead he pushed passed me, grabbed another guy by the arm and said “I heard you talking about me and you better stop now!” You could see the fear in this guy’s eyes and the look of anger in Jesse’s that said he meant business. Returning to his wife Jesse moved to the other side of the room, but I could see him looking my way.

Some time passed and I was getting ready to leave when Jesse walked up, “Hey Miller, can we go outside and talk for a minute?” After seeing his outburst I was a little hesitant, but agreed and we went to the parking lot.”
“That guy in there,” He started, “Well we use to hang out and get loaded a lot together and he was telling people in there about it and how crazy I’d get.” I was trying to find a diplomatic way of saying what my thoughts were. “Okay, but the fact is its true, and I’m not trying to make you mad, but you used enjoy being seen as the craziest of the crazy. Has that all changed now?” Jesse smiled before saying, “You saw my wife, that’s what changed. When I met Pam she was the first to look past my stupid ways and see me for who I really am, who I could be with her in my life. Since then I haven’t been stoned or drunk in over ten years and we now have two beautiful daughters that we’re raising to love Jesus and grow up doing the right things. That guy telling others of how I used to be is something I want to forget and never have my wife and children exposed to. I’m not that person anymore; that was then, this is now.”

Jesse and the way he now lived reminded me of one of my favorite quotes: “We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.” Chuck Swindoll

Jesse was aware that many still remembered his earlier life, but he was determined to show that person no longer existed; a new person with a new life had emerged, one that would bring honor to his wife, his family, and his Lord.

2 Corinthians 5:17 – “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.”

My man Jesse, another “Traveler of the Rock Road” didn’t see life as anything more than a constant party that you got the most out of you could and then you died. Along the way he met someone who showed him he was more important than that, to others, to himself, and to a God that loves him dearly. At that moment Jesse would tell you “Life” finally began.

“The old Jesse, yeah I knew that crazy manic, quite a character that guy! But he’s no longer around and he sure can’t hold a candle to the new Jesse anyway. Don’t believe me ask his Lady and his Lord, they’ll show you a new and better man has been born.”

See ya next time!!

I remember how sick I felt right after the accident, didn’t know if I wanted to cry or cuss. To anyone else it probably wasn’t that big of a deal, but to me it left a sick feeling in my stomach as I stared at the devastation. Okay, so what am I making the big deal about, wrecked car, broken picture window, what?!! Something even worse than these; it was an ink blot on one of my favorite pictures! Now that I have you scratching your head let me explain.

Years back as a drummer I was privileged to work with two of the finest musicians I had ever played music with. Not just because of their talents, which were exceptional, but also the chemistry we had between us. We were able to read each other, musically speaking, in such way that we developed a unique sound and blend that I had never experienced with any other combo I worked with. We used to joke that if one of us made a mistake the other two would instinctively catch it and make the same error as if it was meant to be like that. Of all the bands I was ever with this was the one I felt was going to do something special. Unfortunately, like so many other talented musical groups spanning the country, that was not to be the case and after a couple of years we gave up the pursuit of stardom, so to speak, and found ourselves going in different directions musically, occupationally and geographically. But even though we no longer performed together, a special bond of friendship still existed, something that I cherish to this day. On the last night we were together someone took a picture of the three of us that I’ve kept to this day. Now because of clumsiness on my part there was an ink spot about ¼ inch in diameter right in the middle. Every time I looked now it was the first and most prominent thing I saw. If someone else looked at it, it was; “Oh, how’d you get that ugly spot on it?” It became such an aggravation each time I looked at what was once precious to me and how I ruined it, that I put the picture away so I wouldn’t have to look at it anymore.

A few years passed and one day when I was cleaning out a desk drawer I came across the picture again. As soon as I saw that ugly botch I grimaced and started to shove it back in the drawer to hide it once again. But then, I stopped and took a good look at it for the first time since the accident. I began to look past the imperfection at three individuals, three close friends and the items like the clothes they were wearing back then, the length of hair (when all of us could still grow hair), but mostly the smiles and laughter we shared that final time together. As I sat there I began to smile again, just like before the distracting mar. I was no longer seeing it as the main item on the picture; I was finally, once again, seeing the splendor of that captured moment in time.

Leo Tolstoy once said “Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them.”

As I ponder this thought it reminded me of picture and the spot. I became so obsessed with the tarnish that I could no longer see the real picture, even though it was still there. The spot didn’t cover or hide the picture; it just drew my attention away from it and in the process stole joy from me. I’ve come to realize that there are many “spots” out there that try to hide the greater picture from us. These spots can be mental as well as physical, like the thought you’re not attractive as someone else, or you’re overweight, perhaps a physical disability, or even just one person out of many who has treated you bad. These are all spots, robbers and thugs that make an attempt to take what God intended for you–joy, happiness, beauty, and even love.

My man Max Lucado says it like this, “You weren’t an accident. You weren’t mass produced. You aren’t an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on the earth by the Master Craftsman.”

And still, “If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning… Face it, friend. He is crazy about you!

There are many spots, many stumbling blocks in life that attempt to hide that love He has for you. You may not be able to remove it, but you can learn to look past it so that you may see the real picture, one filled with more beauty and joy than perhaps you realized existed.

Romans 15:13- “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

See Ya Next Time!

I didn’t notice at first, but it was soon evident by the blank stare and the painful expression of sadness that tears were getting ready to burst forth. I was explaining to this young man the duties of his new occupation, what would be expected of him, and how he could make the job easier by listening to the advice I was giving him. It was at this point I realized he wasn’t listening to me, his mind was somewhere else; so I waited.

It started with a couple of tears running down his face, but within seconds it was full scale crying at its best. Even though I knew what the problem was I felt it best at that moment to remain silent, and lend an arm over his shoulder. Some would call that moment, an end to a dream. Others would say it was the beginning of reality. I prefer to look at it as a combination of both.

I had known this young man since his earliest days and even though he was a good kid that everyone liked, he was also a conniver and manipulator. If there was certain outcome this boy wanted to see, he had the uncanny ability to ascertain the situations in ways to accomplish the end results he sought. I had seen him work this personality magic he possessed many times with success. If on those rare occasions it didn’t come together as he had hoped he’d simply wait, regroup, and go at it from a different angle to finally accomplish his purpose. Yep this guy knew how to work the angles to get what he wanted, and most of the time it was just to get by. He wasn’t interested in accolades from tremendous feats; he was more concerned what was the least he could do that would be just enough to get what he wanted. Like I said he wasn’t a bad guy, he was just one of those people who didn’t want to play by the rules of life to get ahead. He had done this with school grades, part time jobs and even what he loved most, sports. And he had been warned by many that one day it would catch up with him and he wouldn’t have a backup plan to call on; which is where we find ourselves in the story.

After graduation he wanted to go on to college, but he knew his high school grades had not been good enough. So began his efforts to make that happen, unfortunately this time the plan didn’t come together. He had already had his first major setback in life when he was kicked off the football team his senior year. Now he was facing another seeing all his friends, including his girlfriend and brother leave for school while he stayed behind to work a job to earn money to go at a later date. It was my job to educate him about the hard and dirty work he would soon be doing. And the young man was angry, at himself, me and half the world. As the tears cascaded down his face, the realization of his situation had come home to roost. No more plots and plans to get what he wanted, he was stuck in a situation where there was no way out and the only thing left was just to face it the best he could.

J.C. Watts was quoted as saying, “Character is doing the right thing when nobody’s looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that’s right is to get by, and the only thing that’s wrong is to get caught.”

This young man was not a bad individual by any means, but he was blinded to the truth of his condition; the more effort he put forth to manipulate life, the harder it would become to live it properly and fully. The crash and burn he experienced was a valuable lesson on what it meant to be a “Man of Honor.” He began to see where the mistakes lay in his life and what it was going to take to eradicate them, in other words a rebirth of everything in his life, morally, emotionally, physically but mostly, spiritually.

Colossians 3:23: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.”

2 Chronicles 15:7: “But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.”

It was little less than a year that my young friend spent learning a lesson about life and himself. Something must have caught on because he went on to learn a trade, get an education and become a teacher, plus marry a beautiful girl that God picked to be his helpmeet, and now they have two beautiful girls.

I just heard from him yesterday, got a note that went like this:

What can I say? Happy Father’s Day!

You’re the Best above the Rest.

Guiding me through Life

Helped me choose the best Wife

Taught me to ride a Bike

And how to be a father because of You

You modeled a man of honor as I Grew

Thanks for letting me do my own Things

And for blessing me with musical Jeans

You gave me knowledge with the good and the Bad

I thank our Lord and Savior for making you my Dad

Oh, did I forget to mention I was talking about my youngest son?!! Sorry, my bad.  I’m thankful for his kind words, like any dad, I only wish I could live up them better.

But as we “Travel the Rock Road” we meet many other sojourners like ourselves, perhaps in the same house walking a portion of the same road. And each person, each Traveler must make their own way and decisions. But I firmly believe all of us will have opportunity to help and guide others when they don’t know the way or maybe understand what’s expected of them in life. Still the end result is in the hands of each of us.

As one put it, “Let us choose wisely and let us choose life.”

See Ya Next Time!!

Last week I had dinner at a family style restaurant, the type that after you eat you go up to the counter and pay for your meal. On this day, I had to wait for moment before paying due to a little drama being played out at that moment. Seems this elderly gentleman had called in a take-out order and was making an issue with the girl behind the counter. He never raised his voice or got ugly but he wanted to let her know that because she was in such a hurry to get him off the phone she did not listen to his entire order and hung up before he was done. “Oh no,” she argued, I heard everything you said clearly and made sure it was ready.” “Well then, there were special but simple instructions on one of the dinners, tell me what they were,” the man countered. She stared at him for a moment, then hung her head: “You’re right and I don’t know. I’m sorry and I promise it will never happen again.” I half expected this guy to tear into her or ask for the manager. Instead a gentle smile came across his face and his words were gracious. “I know how hectic restaurant business can be, I used to own one. But when dealing with anyone, you have to treat them like they’re the most important thing you have to do, that’s just consideration, that’s good customer service.” The girl nodded in agreement but continued to look down as she took his money to pay for the order. When she finished and handed him his change he handed back to her a sizable and generous tip. “Here, let’s use this as a better reminder of what you need to do from now on; after all the next person may not be as lovable as me.” Now the girl looked up and gave him a big beautiful smile, “Thank you so much sir, I will next time I promise!” Now I was smiling and continued to do so all the way out to the car, not only for the kindness I had just witnessed, but for the memory that was flooding my mind of a moment where I almost wasn’t as kind as this gentleman.

It was Christmas and the kids were all preteens. We had just finished opening all the presents when a revelation occurred, most of the gifts we gave the children needed batteries, something we totally forgot to buy. So I had to head out into the cold to find someplace open to buy what was needed. Needless to say I wasn’t in the best of moods when I pulled into the only convenience store I could find that had any. It didn’t help my disposition any when I saw the crowd and there was only one girl working checkout, and she seemed to be having her own problems. The cash register she was using messed up so she had to have everyone move to a new line, then she inadvertently charged the wrong customer for a gas purchase. Finally while bagging up some items, she dropped something that broke and made a mess. “Oh for Pete’s sake,” I thought, “Where did they get this kid!” I wasn’t angry, but I sure was impatient, “Come on, let me pay for these batteries and get out of this nut house,” I whispered to myself. The person right in front of me wasn’t as quiet; finally reaching the counter he let her have it with both barrels yelling how her incompetence at doing a simple minded job was ridiculous. He made a few other uncalled for comments before he left, but I was no longer paying attention to him, I was now seeing the girl for what seemed like the first time. Her face was red and her eyes now glassy as she fought back the tears, this child couldn’t have been more than 20 years old. “Hey beautiful, you okay?” With all the strength she could muster to keep from crying, she got the words out, “I’m sorry, but I’m doing the best I can. I just started recently and they scheduled me for today by myself. I’d like to be home like everyone else with my little girl, but I need the money.” Reaching in my coat pocket I pulled out a 4oz jar candle, something I make, and said “Merry Christmas!” That brought a smile and a heartfelt “Thank you!” I then followed up with “Now listen to me, relax and concentrate only on the person who’s in front of you. Take care of their need and then move on the next. If you start to feel overwhelmed remove the lid from the candle and take a good whiff, it’ll help relax you and get you through the rest of the day. Don’t worry what anyone else thinks, you’re doing great.” It surprised me a little when I heard a couple of voices behind me say, “That’s right, you’re doing fine.” I had almost forgotten there were other people listening to us.

These are two examples of how to approach someone who needs correcting or help without tearing that individual down. It’s unfortunate for me to say that as a youngster, I had a person in my life that seemed to enjoy ridiculing me excessively when I made mistakes; I’ve even seen ones in positions of leadership with this hateful demeanor. During the years I worked with troubled youth, I’d find the hard core kids would be ones that came from similar backgrounds where they seldom heard words of encouragement.

Mother Teresa said “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

During times of leading or instructing others, I have had to work hard to ensure that I am presenting myself and the material I wish to teach with a non-threatened approach; in other words if you don’t understand what I’m saying then we’ll keep working to find a way to make it comprehensible. And if a mistake is made, we’ll discuss it, correct it, and then move on.

I totally believe God does call on us to treat each other in a manor we wish to be treated. I read just yesterday, “No matter how educated, talented, rich, or cool you believe you are, how you treat people tells all. Integrity is everything.” Of course there’s this “Book” I’m rather fond of that has good advice on this subject.  Romans 12:16 “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.”  And of course, Philippians 2:3-5 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.”

As a buddy of mine would say, “Don’t knock it until you try it!” My point today is an easy one and actually one that it seems everyone talks about, but we all still miss the mark at times treating others with compassion, understanding and love. And as each of us continue our “Travels on the Rock Road,” it’s just as important what we leave behind us as what still lays ahead.

I believe Charles Spurgeon said it best like this, “A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.”

Carve on, my dear Friends and Family, Carve on!

See ya next time!!

Many of you know that my Lady and I are avid bicyclists especially when it comes to riding what’s referred to as Rails-to-Trails. This is where train tracks once ran and now have been taken up and made into walking, running and bike paths. To date we’ve biked trails in eight different states and hope to add many more to the list particularly when we reach retirement years, good Lord’s will and the creek don’t rise! It’s truly enjoyable going new places and seeing new sights from the seats of our hybrids. (Those are bikes that can tolerate a wide range of riding conditions and applications.) Quite a few of the trails have been paved, but most are packed dirt and a few even crushed rock. As mentioned it’s a great way to see the beauty of nature and visit little towns with their own unique personality, but it’s definitely not for the light-hearted biker. Riding around your neighborhood or community for exercise is one thing, but getting out in the wilderness, especially if you’re carrying supplies and extra water is strictly another category. Our youngest son who is a P.E. teacher and looks like he just walked off of Fitness Magazine can attest to that fact. After he had gone on an 18 mile biking trek with his mother and me; he called me several days later to tell how he could hardly walk for two days after. Still when you’re out there, you meet many wonderful people with varied levels of experience either taking just a portion of a trail, or going the distance like we do. When you’ve biked several hours in the woods and finally come to a small town that seems like time forgot, well it’s like an oasis in the desert. Many of these places like, Kimmel, Bloomingdale, Leroy, Elroy, and even Denver (Not the big one!) are little burgs where you may not find a lot of action on a Friday night, but usually have a general store, grocery or small restaurant that cater to bikers looking to rest a bit, get needed supplies or grab a bite to eat. It’s also a great place to meet and talk to other two-wheeled travelers; bikers are a great group of people!

It was at one of those stops I spoke with a gal, maybe in her late 30s, who was riding a light weight street bike. She had traveled the entire 34 miles of the trail and was now heading back to where she left her car. We only spoke for a moment, but she worried me a bit for she looked quite weary. A light framed speed bike with thin tires is easy to ride, but not necessarily congenial to a dirt packed trail. She knew she still had a good ways to travel, but she was undaunted about the task still ahead; she would make it she proclaimed and off she rode. Cathy and I finished our lunch of fruit and fiber bars, refilled our water bottles and followed a short time after for the remaining 17 miles of the trip. I had wished that the young lady and taken time to eat and rest but she was in too big a hurry to get back, besides she knew her body energy level best; I hoped, I guess, I prayed!

The return trip on the trail was beautiful with lush green foliage, purple wild flowers, many types of birds and nearby streams. Still it was a tough ride for on the return trip you had to deal with many inclines, not overly steep but enough to make you work harder than previously. We caught up with the gal about 10 miles in, sitting on a bench looking quite ragged. “You okay, need anything?” I asked. There were numerous places for her to get water but I keep extra fiber bars, bandages, and pain relief medicine just in case. She assured me she was fine so we rode on. It was a few miles later she passed us going all out like she was in a race. Call it the parental instinct in me, but I wanted to call out to her to slow down, it was dangerous how fast she was moving, conserve some energy because the worse was still ahead; for you see the last three miles of the trail had a 5% incline which will take a lot out of a person if they’re not careful. And she wasn’t!

Half way up this last power eating jaunt, I caught up with once again. She had her head down against her handle bars and her upper torso was rising and lowering as she struggled for air. When I reached her ,she was making an effort to get back on her bike again, but she looked over at me and said, “I’m not sure I can make it.” Now don’t ask me why I said what I did. I could have offered some food for energy, or pain meds, or even to stay put and we would come back with the truck to get her. Any of that would have been a help, but instead the words came out, “Yes you can make it, you’re almost done, don’t give up; YOU’RE DOING AWESOME!!” She struggled to get her feet back on pedals but then she was gone like a shot; and I prayed, “Lord you know me and my big mouth, please watch over that child!”

As we pedaled the final 50 yards we could see the old caboose that marks where the trailhead begins and ends; a very welcome sight at the journey’s end. Putting the bikes away, a gal came over I didn’t recognize at first because she was no longer wearing her helmet and sunglasses; it was the girl from the trail.  “I had nothing left back there and I was sure I wasn’t going to make it, but your words of encouragement kept ringing in my ears and that’s what carried me the rest of the way. Thank you so much!!”

“When you encourage others, you in the process are encouraged because you’re making a commitment and difference in that person’s life. Encouragement really does make a difference.” Zig Ziglar

Here’s another “Traveler of the Rock Road” whose path will probably never cross mine again and perhaps I could have used the opportunity to speak to this child about my Lord, after all that’s what I like doing best. But I believe that God used me for another purpose–to speak a few words of encouragement this child needed to keep going and find that hidden strength in her to finish. Isn’t that something we all can and should do?

Happy Biking and Be Careful! See Ya Next Time!!